Childhood Sex Abuse Survivor.

[schnauzerbabies]

Hi, My name is Tara. I was diagnosed with PTSD when I was 15. That was 13 years ago. I have been through years of sexual and physical abuse. I am scared to write about myself, knowing others will read it. I am learning to communicate in different ways other than talking, as I find talking very difficult at times.

 

[amethist]

Hi Tara

Welcome to the forum.

Take your time posting, dont rush yourself, maybe just reading some of the other Introduction posts first might help.

We understand that it is not always easy sharing how you are feeling or what your trauma was, but you will feel more at ease in time. Baby steps is the best way to start, no matter how small they are, you are still moving forward.

Take care.

Amethist

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[Girl3]

Reading other people's stories helps - even if you can't write your own yet. All the best on this journey.

 

[Srain]

Welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you have been through a lot. I'm glad you've found this site, there is a lot of support and information here. Post as you are able.Even doing to the lighthearted stuff is helpful to become apart of and know that you are not alone.

peace,
Rain

 

[schnauzerbabies]

Thank you everybody. It always helps to know I am not alone.

 

[ClairBear226]

Tara, I've been here for more than a year, and it took me nearly that whole year before I could say much of anything reguarding personal details. It's okay. You don't need to. There's a lot to learn from other people here, and a lot to learn about symptom management that still makes being here worthwhile, even if you never say a thing about what happened to you. It's a good place. Welcome.

 

[Roline]

Hi, I am new here too and I totally understand being scared to write about yourself.

I have found the site a great comfort knowing that others understand how I'm feeling. I hope it helps you too.

Take care

 

[Julliete]

Hi Tara,

I'm a new member as well... I also am a survivor of childhood abuse. It took me a very long time to be able to talk about what happened to me. I'm 35 now and I only just started being able to verbalize it at all in the last 3 years or so.

It's ok if it's hard to talk... it will come when you are ready. Painting, drawing, music helped me a lot as well for several years. It's fantastic that you are finding other ways to communicate. All ways of communicating are so important and sometimes non-verbal communication is even more helpful than talking. Friends would tell me to go see a therapist (and I probably will eventually) and I would say that my painting, going to quiet art museums (I live in a big city), listening and making music was my therapist... I wasn't ready to talk. So I understand what it means to find it very hard to talk.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

Hi Tara,

Welcome to the forum! No hurry or stress in trying to write you entire story. I apparently still have only implicit memory related to most of my abuse. I can visualize it, use it in imagery, use art, etc... When I try to talk about it the language is simply not there. In my case, therapy is supposed to create an explicit memory so then I will eventually have a coherent story that is not so emotionally laden. Then I hope I will be able to write a journal here.

As a young child I tried play therapy and sand-play therapy with a couple of different therapists in Europe. From my mid teens to mid twenties I didn't have a therapist. I was so dissociated into academics that I couldn't even feel my body. I completed both college and graduate school in the U.S. In the meantime I am on my 24th therapist in 6 years and consider her a definite keeper. I feel like I have more courage in working with her. She is flexible and let's me choose if I want to talk, play, or set up play scenes, which then get me to talk.

We are all at different stages, with different goals, paths, etc... You get to choose everything...

Please know that we are here for you throughout your journey!

 

[schnauzerbabies]

Thanks, this place is amazing. I have recently started seeing a trauma specialist. She does EMDR although I am not ready yet. She has a sandbox and lots of toys and things to color with too. So I am working my way there. I am also fluent in American Sign Language. I do well with that, but am limited on who I can talk to.

I really apreciate all of your support.
Sincerely me.