Christians Unite!

Rosebud

MyPTSD Pro
@Tea should add, (for me), what does it (the above) matter, really. Just one's individual reality or battle I guess. Better for some than me, worse for many. Best for me to ignore it and keep it to myself. And from what I know most people aren't too interested about what isn't their concern, whether it's past or current. Most of the time it's embarassing to discclose or in the event someone is soft-hearted I'd rather they didn't feel badly, either. Maybe the fact people don't 'get it' maybe can bother me more because it feels more like an insult to those who are dead? Idk. It changes how one views many things however,

Far as forgiveness goes, not a choice to be rushed, I think. Just something perhaps to not concentrate on- the 'what ifs' or wishing or woulda/ coulda/ shouda's. If the past can't be changed the only thing is how you can choose to reflect on it, process it (imcluding getting furious if necessary, etc), or not make resenting it a long-term priority since there is nothing to bbe gained from that.

Good luck to you.
 
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Tea

@ Rosebud yes I think it is healthier for the soul and the body. There must be a good reason, if God want us to forgive. I think God just demands things of us that are god for us. And I guess, the reward of forgiveness is a improved health and to be able to fully enjoy the present, even though it also is also possible sometimes to enjoy live, if you are on your way to forgiveness ☺️. I agree there is no meaning in thinking in could scenarios. I can only lean from my past. I would love to just do it and then its done. I have to give myself time to process what has happened.

Yes I lost dear people but I didn't have PTSD because of that. I `m very sorry if I was cross-border with my question about your mom. Just ignore my question, if it is so. I was asking you because I thought I wrote you, when you asked for prayers on the dag your mother died and wondered how you are. May be I remember wrong.

I'm very sorry I can understand how hurtful it is to lose loved ones 🤗 🧡and that it feels like a hole, especially when you are very close.

I didn't understand when you wrote: "So a 10 on the first and a 5 on the second=15, and a 12 on the 3rd, well one day you realize now =43. (If that makes sense, unlikely I know)."

I think I know in my head, that the past can't be changed but I'm waiting that this insight truly reaches my heart. I guess than will my anger and sorrow dissolve.

May I ask if and how your belief has helped you through dark times?
 

Rosebud

MyPTSD Pro
I was asking you because I thought I wrote you, when you asked for prayers on the d 🫂 ag your mother died and wondered how you are. May be I remember wrong.
I am very very sorry @Tea I apologize, you did, I saw it looking up the prayers thread. I am not used to telling anyone those kind of things or remembering I did (because I don't usually, except for here, but didn't think I had. I don't expect it to matter, generally speaking, but especially not after the fact). I am also sorry because tone doesn't come out with text and I was not angry. If I get angry it's usually at my self/ own choices. No, it didn't cause ptsd and it seems was there 13 years already. And you were only being very kind, not crossing any boundary. I am very sorry. 😢
I didn't understand when you wrote: "So a 10 on the first and a 5 on the second=15, and a 12 on the 3rd, well one day you realize now =43. (If that makes sense, unlikely I know)."
There is a strange thing, some others can relate also, wherein in when after significant deaths (& other profound losses) increase in number they don't increase equally. So if each were a 10 on the scale, the 1st might be ten, the 2nd 10, but by the 8th or 9th it's 200 (total). For example, when my mom died, oddly and in a blind-sided way Father's day a few weeks later was the worst since 13 years before (despite the fact I would have thought it wouldn't have bothered me a bit. It was like, WTH???). I think also perspective or perception of resources, or the meaning of life, or security/ lack of security, or sheer coping ability changes or wanes. (Like I have said to many seniors, ~'they say you've been through so many losses it is easier for you to cope, and it's the total opposite'. And they say 'Yes! Exactly!' They have one of if not the highest rate of suicide of all age groups.) I think also because people are intertwined by nature of relationships, not only are the deaths losses but they reflect back on other decisions made because the person was living (not meaning codependendence here, but rather choice), and then those choices come in to question. (For example, prioritizing family as a high value, and being left with none. But being too beaten down or too consumed having to survive, esp without resources, to build any new one, either. Then one can say, the irony of choosing that and ending up the extreme opposite. Etc.)

That's probably no clearer than before! 😮🙄😏

Anyway, I am sorry and am very sorry for your losses. 😢😭 I will have to think on the last question a bit. Hugs to you. 🫂
 

katz

MyPTSD Pro
I actually have two things to mention. I'm not sure if they belong in this chat or not - but I wanted to mention them. I have always remembered the advice someone gave me about what to do when your angry at God. I was told that you should go to any lake or large watered area and just throw stones out into the water as hard as you can. You can say anything you want to God while you do this. I find it helps to get the feelings of anger and frustration out of me, because I always remember that "He can take it" and He knows what we need so he can be there for us. It has always helped my faith knowing that He will always be there for me - and all of us.


The other thing I just wanted to mention, it is probably just about me. I found a letter that I had wrote to God way back when I was very young. I think it was 2-3 grade. (I judged it by the writing and language I used). This letter is one of the things that I used - and still do when necessary - to remind myself that something did happen back then, because I am constantly doubting myself if anything ever happened. I had asked Him why he let this happen and why he didn't protect me....someday maybe I'll get to ask him.

For now, I keep remembering the poem about the "Foot prints in the sand" and how he carried me when I needed him the most. For that - I'm very grateful.
 
T

Tea

🫂I am very very sorry @Tea I apologize, you did, I saw it looking up the prayers thread.

@Rosebud No problem, I'm happy, that I didn't crossed any boundaries ☺️. Of course it matters, but I understand if you have the impression it doesn't matter, when people react like "get over it it's 13 yeas ago. But I think 13 years are just a number. If you love a person then you can't just turn off your feelings after a amount of time.

There is a strange thing, some others can relate also, wherein in when after significant deaths (& other profound losses) increase in number they don't increase equally. So if each were a 10 on the scale, the 1st might be ten, the 2nd 10, but by the 8th or 9th it's 200 (total). For example, when my mom died, oddly and in a blind-sided way Father's day a few weeks later was the worst since 13 years before (despite the fact I would have thought it wouldn't have bothered me a bit. It was like, WTH???). I think also perspective or perception of resources, or the meaning of life, or security/ lack of security, or sheer coping ability changes or wanes. (Like I have said to many seniors, ~'they say you've been through so many losses it is easier for you to cope, and it's the total opposite'. And they say 'Yes! Exactly!' They have one of if not the highest rate of suicide of all age groups.) I think also because people are intertwined by nature of relationships, not only are the deaths losses but they reflect back on other decisions made because the person was living (not meaning codependendence here, but rather choice), and then those choices come in to question. (For example, prioritizing family as a high value, and being left with none. But being too beaten down or too consumed having to survive, esp without resources, to build any new one, either. Then one can say, the irony of choosing that and ending up the extreme opposite. Etc.)

That's probably no clearer than before! 😮🙄😏

No, I think I get it. I'm truly sorry for all the hardships 🫂 It makes sense that one bale after another is in the end too much. You seem to be a strong women, that you still live.

Anyway, I am sorry and am very sorry for your losses. 😢😭 I will have to think on the last question a bit. Hugs to you. 🫂
Thank you very much 💚 Hugs right back to you🫂.
 

Rosebud

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you @Tea , you are generous in your forgiveness.

Yes, well it's even sillier- 13 years apart. And there it came out of the blue! Although I don't expect it to matter to anyone not affected if it was even a day ago.
You seem to be a strong women, that you still live
Kind of feel like a plastic patio chair thrown around in a storm for years. :(

Thanks for being so sweet. 🫂
 

Rosebud

MyPTSD Pro
A person I know considering MAID (ironically they've been told they must give an answer by tuesday). and for their spouse and family.
Thank you.
 

Rosebud

MyPTSD Pro
I am concerned about relative's vehicle pblm, going to take a minor if not major miracle to overcome or approve repair (let alone to replace), between facts, realities, and supply change issues. I would be very thankful for prayers, key time will be Friday on. It is very difficult to manage demands/ work/ groceries/ vet/ needing to commute out of town with no vehicle. Let alone very disheartening with other demands there already. 😫😪
 
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