Christmas as a trigger

[Muttly]

I hate christmas I hate christmas I hate christmas
sorry
just... blah

 

[Deleted member 40995]

I hate christmas I hate christmas I hate christmas
sorry
just... blah

You aren’t alone :/ starting to think up good excuses to tell people in real life to make them stop asking why I don’t do Christmas.

 

[Muttly]

@Rosie11 I just wish people could accept and not pry or push. Ok, great, you all are doing a Christmas card exchange. Fine. I don't want to. Ok, I don't have to send, I can just receive. I still don't want to. This does not have to turn into some deep serious conversation about why. I'm not telling anyone else they have to hate Christmas. I'm not telling anyone else how to feel or what to do, so just let me be.

.<this has been a test of the PTSD broadcasting system. If this had been a real emergency, there would have been more ranting and raving. We now return you to your regularly scheduled forum>

 

[Deleted member 40995]

@Rosie11 I just wish people could accept and not pry or push. Ok, great, you all are...

Yes! I got so desperate I even started making stuff up to try an make them quit asking faster, said it was against my religion :bag: I just couldn’t bear trying to explain to another person, I mean how can you explain? If I told them the truth that every Christmas was just terrifying, being beaten and assaulted or sleeping in an old oven in a barn with the rats, or the time dad put me in a cardboard box and left me in the snow? Sure, I could tell them that but it tends to frighten folks so sometimes it’s much easier to just make something simple up that stops questions at the beginning.:sorry:

 

[Deleted member 41765]

Yes! I got so desperate I even started making stuff up t

I've done this. Recently.

I don't want to. Ok, I don't have to send, I can just receive. I still don't want to.

Yep. We are having a classroom Holiday party on Wednesday. And YAY!! The parents are invited. AND I DON'T WANT TO. My co-teacher completely breezed over my very clear declaration that I'm not doing Christmas and now I get to answer the question, "So, what are you doing for Christmas?" 18 times!

 

[NotFeelinIt]

I haven’t been in hospital since April, which is my longest stretch staying out in years and years. I’m aiming for this to be the first christmas in 8 years that I don’t end up in hospital. But christmas-brain is setting in with the appearance of tinsel and santas everywhere, and I don’t know that I’m gonna make it.

I have a couple of anniversaries around new year that have nothing to do with Christmas. But the messages everywhere that I’m supposed to be joyful and jolly make it durn near impossible to just let the days roll past without attaching any significance to them. I’m happy for people who love this time of year, but I really do wish I had a cave somewhere that I could retreat to.

I’m with you that trying to turn the day into my own special holiday is really good advice from someone incredibly well meaning who, frankly, doesn’t have the slightest idea what it’s like. And they can go and stick their well-meaning advice where the sun don’t shine.

I’m aiming to get through without destroying myself or winding up in hospital. So let’s not pretend there’s much to celebrate right now.

I totally get it. I am there myself. Nothing but triggers and honestly every year I'm getting closer to that idealization that it'd be far better to be gone.