Landy Tomlin
New Here
When I was 9, my sister (three years older) and mother would fight everyday. When they fought, I would hide under my bed or in the closet. It got to the point where my mother would stick a knife in my sister's hand and tell her what to do with it. I had to talk my sister out of suicide on a daily basis. She would lock herself in a bathroom with a knife and I would spend hours trying to talk her down. She talked about overdose, cutting, suffocation, hanging. So I started counting the pill bottles and kitchen knives every night before bed. Both my parents ignored her "cries for attention", so I convinced myself I had to raise her. I became her venting punching bag. She started running away from home, so our mother started obliging her by throwing her out of the car in different cities (an hour or so drive from home). My sister asked me to help her kill our mother, blackmailing me by telling me that if she went to jail all by herself, I would be alone forever. But if we went to jail together, we would never be separated. My greatest fear is being alone. So I agreed, but she chickened out.
When she left for college, she told me, "I never loved you and all these years I was just using you. In fact, I think you're annoying." After everything I had done for her, she abandoned me, giving me a taste of my greatest fear. When she would come home to visit, she would tell me in graphic detail the things that men have done to her sexually. And she would masturbate in front of me. I would aggressively tell her to stop, that I didn't want to hear it, and she said, "I can tell you whatever I WANT to tell you."
I am also homosexual. My senior year of high school, my mother sent me away to a lock-down religious residential treatment facility in the middle of the woods (to cure me of my homosexuality) where they mandate prayer, devotion, daily graded (GPA affecting) Bible class, Thursday chapel, and Sunday church attendance. You must be within 5 feet of a staff member at all times, and you must ask them permission to stand, sit, go indoors, go outdoors, go upstairs, go downstairs, talk to the opposite sex, etc. You have to sing while going to the bathroom. If you don't follow procedure, you are assigned manual labor. If you do poorly in school, you are assigned room grounding, in which you can ONLY read the Bible or sit silently. You have no contact with the outside world (no tv, newspapers, magazines, phone, internet, mail). You sign a contract dictating you have the right to a lawyer, but if you demand a lawyer, they DO NOT get you one. This is only one example of the many things they dictate in the contract, but DO NOT provide you. I made so much fuss about it that it went all the way to the man who ran the facility, and he said, "It's your fault you're here. So you don't deserve your rights."
When she left for college, she told me, "I never loved you and all these years I was just using you. In fact, I think you're annoying." After everything I had done for her, she abandoned me, giving me a taste of my greatest fear. When she would come home to visit, she would tell me in graphic detail the things that men have done to her sexually. And she would masturbate in front of me. I would aggressively tell her to stop, that I didn't want to hear it, and she said, "I can tell you whatever I WANT to tell you."
I am also homosexual. My senior year of high school, my mother sent me away to a lock-down religious residential treatment facility in the middle of the woods (to cure me of my homosexuality) where they mandate prayer, devotion, daily graded (GPA affecting) Bible class, Thursday chapel, and Sunday church attendance. You must be within 5 feet of a staff member at all times, and you must ask them permission to stand, sit, go indoors, go outdoors, go upstairs, go downstairs, talk to the opposite sex, etc. You have to sing while going to the bathroom. If you don't follow procedure, you are assigned manual labor. If you do poorly in school, you are assigned room grounding, in which you can ONLY read the Bible or sit silently. You have no contact with the outside world (no tv, newspapers, magazines, phone, internet, mail). You sign a contract dictating you have the right to a lawyer, but if you demand a lawyer, they DO NOT get you one. This is only one example of the many things they dictate in the contract, but DO NOT provide you. I made so much fuss about it that it went all the way to the man who ran the facility, and he said, "It's your fault you're here. So you don't deserve your rights."
