Closed Off From The World

[SwordsPandaGirl]

So I've noticed I am extremely reserved lately. I hold back on everything and have found that I now don't trust anyone. I don't know how I got here. I guess it allows me to 'not feel as much pain' if someone where to hurt me or betray me. No one can if I don't open up I guess? Does anyone else find that they are like this?

 

[intheprocess]

Your words are a picture of me. I am that way, too. In my situation I have to play it safe with the person I am living with- things are pretty tough, that she says we don't have any communication. But when she wants to "communicate" it's her yelling so I don't bother. I am very hypervigilant and anxious, and I am a closed book. Being this way has made me like this in other relationships. Sorry you are going through it.

 

[SwordsPandaGirl]

I'm like this with everyone I meet too. A pretend/ closed off me. I'm sorry you are going through it. It isn't a very nice thing to go through. Although it helps as people can't hurt me, it does create a sense of loneliness. Or at least it does for me.

 

[SJean]

I deal with the same thing, the isolation. I have been told I am an enigma, or standoffish, yet inside me I am trying my hardest to be open and friendly. I just can't seem to take off the 'mask' that traps me in myself. I see others (even my own partner) seem to make connections like breathing, I'm lucky if I can make a new friend once a year. I always feel left behind in social situations because I can't seem to keep up with all the required texts and chatting and emails and social visits that it seems to take to actually 'make' a friendship. I can't bring myself to feel motivated to email or text people I meet and I don't know why that is. It's really very lonely and it isn't like I am doing it on purpose or so people seem to think. I just am not my real self with people, and if I do become my real self it is with very few. I feel like an actor, playing the part of a normal person.

 

[Chava]

Yes, I have been like this forever. So for me it's very hard to change. Even if I could, everyone around me would be confused because they are used to me being aloof or somewhat detached, and reclusive. Even when I attempt to be more open with people I feel like I'm just confusing.