Hi. Just wanted to share a bizarre coincidence that has really set me back aways last week. Usual PsyDoc I am required to see changed the location I usually attend. Instead of an 'office' location, it was a 'hospital' location. When I got there, it was a totally different PsyDoc. Surprised. He was quite aggressive, pushy - instantly didn't like the guy and I felt very threatened - basically, he gave me the creeps. You know that little collection of things that we can't name but rely on to keep us aware and safe and alive? Well, they were all going off larger than life the longer I sat with him.
I wouldn't open up, wouldn't share and it would have taken more muscle than he had available to get a word out of me. I just couldn't figure it out as I always try my best to do my bit in these sessions.
One thing stuck in my mind, his name tag. I am a fanatic for detail, it can save your life, any observed variation from the norm noticed can make a huge difference. Anyway, he had a significant and memorable name and an unusual and 'irregular' job title on his tag.
I went home and racked my brain and then it all clicked. A while back, an older relative whom I loved, died from a debilitating neuro disease, many hundreds of miles away from me. Their experience of hospital care, domestic care and their end of life care was horrendous, bordering on the abusive and illegal. It was terrible. It took me a long time to get over the way they treated that person. Over here, there is this hellish, and sadly, legal method of speeding up the deaths of the dying called the 'Liverpool Care Pathway'. Many hospitals and doctors use it, often without consent and it is often omitted from records - sometimes, it even attracts financial incentives for the doctor and the hospital. My relative suffered an agonising end because of it and without Family consent. Terrible. Doctor's discretion. Those are the breaks because my relative was struck down with the disease and had appointed no one to regulate and oversee their care and was deemed to be of ' low mental capacity'.
Anyway, after my relative died, the doc disappeared, new job, total career change, whatever. Guess what? Ace of Spades concidence, didn't he amazingly move hundreds of miles and sideways into my professional sphere of experience and ended up sitting right in front of me as my new PsyDoc. How about that for a coincidence?
No way I can attend him, no way, so I am going to have to think and pray and reason out how I can ask for another guy as I have to attend the sessions. Any ideas? I don't want to tell the PsyDoc about my relative, I would rather eat my boots than give that creep the satisfaction of knowing how much he hurt me and increased my relative's sufferings with his awful, dispassionate and heartless treatment of my loved one. Guys like that get off on being told that kind of thing. It's a god like power they enjoy using I believe. Couldn't sacrifice what little pride I have left and tell that heart of stone man that. What a dilemma. My relative is with God now and thankfully out of that crappy Doc's reach.
When I worked it out, thank God, I wasn't angered or enraged. Still am not angry. In a strange way I felt great, you know, tactical advantage, etc. I knew him, his shady past, poor skills, where he came from, so I am way ahead in terms of that I now know I can expect the same crappy, bare minimum, heartless treatment - so I can get out before it begins. Just how do I do it? How do I get out and yet keep the bizarre coincidence a secret? How do I save my face and pride? Ever happen to you folks out there? I have to attend, no way out of that. Any help gladly received. God bless you all this evening.
I wouldn't open up, wouldn't share and it would have taken more muscle than he had available to get a word out of me. I just couldn't figure it out as I always try my best to do my bit in these sessions.
One thing stuck in my mind, his name tag. I am a fanatic for detail, it can save your life, any observed variation from the norm noticed can make a huge difference. Anyway, he had a significant and memorable name and an unusual and 'irregular' job title on his tag.
I went home and racked my brain and then it all clicked. A while back, an older relative whom I loved, died from a debilitating neuro disease, many hundreds of miles away from me. Their experience of hospital care, domestic care and their end of life care was horrendous, bordering on the abusive and illegal. It was terrible. It took me a long time to get over the way they treated that person. Over here, there is this hellish, and sadly, legal method of speeding up the deaths of the dying called the 'Liverpool Care Pathway'. Many hospitals and doctors use it, often without consent and it is often omitted from records - sometimes, it even attracts financial incentives for the doctor and the hospital. My relative suffered an agonising end because of it and without Family consent. Terrible. Doctor's discretion. Those are the breaks because my relative was struck down with the disease and had appointed no one to regulate and oversee their care and was deemed to be of ' low mental capacity'.
Anyway, after my relative died, the doc disappeared, new job, total career change, whatever. Guess what? Ace of Spades concidence, didn't he amazingly move hundreds of miles and sideways into my professional sphere of experience and ended up sitting right in front of me as my new PsyDoc. How about that for a coincidence?
No way I can attend him, no way, so I am going to have to think and pray and reason out how I can ask for another guy as I have to attend the sessions. Any ideas? I don't want to tell the PsyDoc about my relative, I would rather eat my boots than give that creep the satisfaction of knowing how much he hurt me and increased my relative's sufferings with his awful, dispassionate and heartless treatment of my loved one. Guys like that get off on being told that kind of thing. It's a god like power they enjoy using I believe. Couldn't sacrifice what little pride I have left and tell that heart of stone man that. What a dilemma. My relative is with God now and thankfully out of that crappy Doc's reach.
When I worked it out, thank God, I wasn't angered or enraged. Still am not angry. In a strange way I felt great, you know, tactical advantage, etc. I knew him, his shady past, poor skills, where he came from, so I am way ahead in terms of that I now know I can expect the same crappy, bare minimum, heartless treatment - so I can get out before it begins. Just how do I do it? How do I get out and yet keep the bizarre coincidence a secret? How do I save my face and pride? Ever happen to you folks out there? I have to attend, no way out of that. Any help gladly received. God bless you all this evening.
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