Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[ILoveLife]

How are y’all finding that hug emoticon, anyway? I lost it

You have to write it now.
: hug : <- no spaces

 

[littleoc]

:hug:

:o

 

[littleoc]

!!!!!!!!!

 

[littleoc]

:hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[littleoc]

Oh, fun news:

I found a comercial deep freezer downstairs.

It’s eight feet tall and four feet wide, probably three or four feet deep

and it’s plugged in

and I vaguely remember that I was supposed to clean it out and de-ice it in high school.

So.... when I unbury it, y’all want a picture of the inside? It should be interesting!

:/

 

[Freida]

I have no idea if I’m using this diary correctly at this point

It's your diary -- there is no correct way. It's for you to use as ya please!

Something is bothering me, but I don't think it's something I should talk about.

You've mentioned this a couple times over the last couple weeks. If you are not ready to talk that's perfectly ok -- but maybe you could ask yourself why you are afraid to talk about it?
There's no right or wrong answer -- just a thought thing for ya.
So maybe ask yourself...
What is it you want to talk about?
Why are you concerned about letting it out?
What do you think will happen if you talk about it?
What do you think peoples reactions will be to whatever you have to say?

Think about each, then think about your answers. Do they make sense? Are they realistic answers?

Happy to hear about the bio hazard folks -- hope they can help!



Is it something you will talk to your T about?

 

[littleoc]

PAGE 123

 

[ILoveLife]

We'll make it to 1234 :P

 

[littleoc]

!!!

 

[Freida]

Yes we will!!! :)

 

[littleoc]

Got a full night of rest, eleven hours though. Feeling good about that, but also wanting to go back to sleep.

Had a very sexual nightmare. I sensed it was going to happened and washed my body three times before I went to bed, but the bed didn’t feel clean enough, and I didn’t want to be so impulsive as to go wash everything at midnight.

My brain seems to think that it is summer vacation. In middle or high school. I can’t quite place why it’s doing that. Time seems really warped. I’m expecting Brandi come over and take me to a movie. And then I’ll be going to her place, where I’ll watch her play video games and think about food for the next several hours, but also be in charge of translating people who don’t exist, and I feel guilty and completely ridiculous because I’m kind of craving it.

I’m hoping my bird is okay. I feel so bad.

I’m worried about my behavior around little children. I keep getting impatient when my nephew doesn’t do what I say immediately. It reminds me of being three and seeing my dad get violent with my little brother, who was two, because he wasn’t doing what my dad said.

I’m not expecting to control a two year old the way my dad does. I’m just worried about my impatience and need to have quiet. I was hoping to have kids, now I’m doubting myself a bit. But I’m not dating right now anyway so whatever.

It’s more like my dad taught me to believe my little brother was stupid but he wasn’t. He was two. It was okay to be frustrated, maybe? Not sure. But definitely inappropriate to attack. We grew up believing we were bad kids so my sister’s treatment of her son is really confusing.

That and sometime she said like a year ago is bothering me.

There seem to be a lot of things bothering me. But I’d say the time warps are the worst.

But in good news, got some sleep! Aaaand... feel good enough to do some work I’ve been struggling with all week

 

[ILoveLife]

You're nothing like your dad, littleoc :hug:

We all get impatient with kids - they have their own thing that don't particular fit our adult-ish brains. :)