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- #4,333
littleoc
VIP Member
Anyway, I realized today that my grandparents were much more a part of my abuse than my mom was. I was blaming the wrong enablers. I forgot about that.
I'm worried. They control people with money. When we need something they give us just enough for slightly less... Not always though. They paid for a lot of things for me and I really am grateful. But now they're saying that we're not grateful enough unless we also worship their every word. It's mostly my grandmother. So yeah, I think we are in some kind of danger. I'm glad the house they bought is hoarded up. But still not. Because I still like them. So, yeah, I was honest earlier in this diary when I said I didn't want to ask them to keep paying for things because it was making me uncomfortable. I felt that that was because I didn't want them to keep spending money on me. But now that I've had this objective look at how they're controlling the people around me, and suddenly I understand why I was soooooo against asking for their help when you guys were suggesting I try that route. It's because they're trying to control my mom, and if they start paying for things for me, they're going to do that again. That's what they've done with everyone. They're waiting for me to need their help, which is why they haven't offered it yet despite being able to get me anything, even a new car. They bought my mom a house and a car and now they say they own her. Same with other family members. They paid for my university but I didn't let them pay for all of it. It made me uncomfortable. That was why. I was afraid they'd make me talk to my dad, like they're trying to make my brothers talk to him now. With threats. Public, too.
Also my brother officially has a PTSD diagnosis now. So now I can't think of myself as the weak one who someone got messed up more than the others. I sort of preferred that anyway though.
Also my aunts are battling homelessness and don't seem to be capable of figuring out their own peril and my brother is having financial troubles but can't ask my grandparents for help, again.
If I inherit any money, I'm NEVER going to use it to control anyone.
It's really confusing me. They are people I respect. I was in denial. Or am I being paranoid now? It's my grandmother, not my grandfather. And I know he's very passive, but he also wants everyone to like his son, who, I repeat, HAS KILLED PEOPLE. My grandmother hates my dad until my grandfather can hear her. And it was my grandmother who told me that my dad's biological mom was crazier than him. Maybe there's a lot more people were hiding then I thought. They would rather push my brother to suicide than admit my dad did anything wrong. My dad, who sexually abuses children and sells them off in the hope of getting attention.
My families are screwed up. I'm really stressed out. Whatever my grandma does for revenge is going to involve money and she owns all the property my mom has. But hopefully she will realize that my brother is the one is charge of his life, and maybe she'll quit attacking my mom and my brother. I'm scared she's going to call me at any moment and drag me into it.
I'm worried. They control people with money. When we need something they give us just enough for slightly less... Not always though. They paid for a lot of things for me and I really am grateful. But now they're saying that we're not grateful enough unless we also worship their every word. It's mostly my grandmother. So yeah, I think we are in some kind of danger. I'm glad the house they bought is hoarded up. But still not. Because I still like them. So, yeah, I was honest earlier in this diary when I said I didn't want to ask them to keep paying for things because it was making me uncomfortable. I felt that that was because I didn't want them to keep spending money on me. But now that I've had this objective look at how they're controlling the people around me, and suddenly I understand why I was soooooo against asking for their help when you guys were suggesting I try that route. It's because they're trying to control my mom, and if they start paying for things for me, they're going to do that again. That's what they've done with everyone. They're waiting for me to need their help, which is why they haven't offered it yet despite being able to get me anything, even a new car. They bought my mom a house and a car and now they say they own her. Same with other family members. They paid for my university but I didn't let them pay for all of it. It made me uncomfortable. That was why. I was afraid they'd make me talk to my dad, like they're trying to make my brothers talk to him now. With threats. Public, too.
Also my brother officially has a PTSD diagnosis now. So now I can't think of myself as the weak one who someone got messed up more than the others. I sort of preferred that anyway though.
Also my aunts are battling homelessness and don't seem to be capable of figuring out their own peril and my brother is having financial troubles but can't ask my grandparents for help, again.
If I inherit any money, I'm NEVER going to use it to control anyone.
It's really confusing me. They are people I respect. I was in denial. Or am I being paranoid now? It's my grandmother, not my grandfather. And I know he's very passive, but he also wants everyone to like his son, who, I repeat, HAS KILLED PEOPLE. My grandmother hates my dad until my grandfather can hear her. And it was my grandmother who told me that my dad's biological mom was crazier than him. Maybe there's a lot more people were hiding then I thought. They would rather push my brother to suicide than admit my dad did anything wrong. My dad, who sexually abuses children and sells them off in the hope of getting attention.
My families are screwed up. I'm really stressed out. Whatever my grandma does for revenge is going to involve money and she owns all the property my mom has. But hopefully she will realize that my brother is the one is charge of his life, and maybe she'll quit attacking my mom and my brother. I'm scared she's going to call me at any moment and drag me into it.
