Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[ILoveLife]

Snow white sets horrible standards too. First off, obviously she would never fall in love for one of the dwarves - they're ugly, right?
Second, she's basically their mother/housekeeper which implies that they're useless unless to work in a mine, and she's useless unless to do housework.
Third, who the f*ck is Prince Charming and why is it okay for him to kiss her?
Edit: Not to mention a teenage girl living with 7 grown ass men, but that's my trauma mind speaking

 

[ILoveLife]

And speaking of beauty and the beast - it would be much better if he wasn't handsome in the end. Defeats the whole purpose of the story.
I've people say it's metaphorical, but I don't agree.

 

[ILoveLife]

I get very rilled up discussing Disney.

I loved Fantasia though.

 

[littleoc]

Haha, me too! I over analyze everything, it’s fun!

Also yes, the nature spirit vs the volcano spirit in the 2000 version was awesome, same with the sky whales! I wonder if they’ll do another one in 2025 or 2050??

 

[ILoveLife]

You'll like this...
I took a print screen of the suggestions on Amazon Ads from your diary..

 

[littleoc]

It’s cheap and well rated!!!!!!

(Also, you should consider getting f.lux! If you want! It might help you sleep :) )

 

[ILoveLife]

It might help.. my problem isn't falling asleep, it's staying asleep :\

Going to check it out :) Thanks

 

[littleoc]

Why am I here at 1:56AM with a splitting headache? I’ll tell you why

I remembered while talking to myself in my dream that my elementary school teachers regularly stole from me, as did my dad

Also my dream dad is now regularly reminding me about Layla the cat’s broken neck at the stairs even though I wasn’t alive during this event, sort of considering a higher dose of prazosin at this point

 

[littleoc]

It might help.. my problem isn't falling asleep, it's staying asleep :\

Going to check it out :) Thanks

Oh, it might help with staying asleep too! By disrupting cycles a little less! I’m not positive of the research there but it helped me with sleep and a bit with headaches, so I personally found it worth it when not streaming high quality movies at night

Edit to add; i remember that you’re quitting smoking. That can cause insomnia too. Including waking up, when I’m less tired I’ll look stuff up and see if I find any ways to avoid insomnia while quitting

Really awesome if you go be trying so hard against addiction :)

Americans smile a lot, apparently it’s an immigrant-country thing where smiles means a friendly-multi-language-gesture instead of saying the Russian (for example) “I am better than you”
Fun facts

 

[ILoveLife]

Thank you :hug:

 

[littleoc]

I am having some very strange and disturbing nightmares. Usually people I know in a situation where they expect me to have sex with them, and I have to force myself. And show submissive behavior beforehand in the form of cuddling.

I have not felt safe with touching a human at all since Brandi.

One time I got back from a hospital I had been living in to protect my life from my father. When I got back to the real world, I was put into Brandi’s mom’s car to surprise Brandi. I don’t remember who’s idea that was. It was back when Brandi was much nicer to me. She was honestly very happy to see me.

But I hadn’t been allowed to touch or be touched by another human in over two weeks by this point. I was not feeling touch-y feel-y. I felt uncomfortable with the fact that Brandi was not letting me go and was not keeping a hand off me. Keep in mind we were 13 or 14, so she probably didn’t know any better because she’d had someone kept from her for days, but I finally spoke up and explained that I didn’t really wanted to be touched. She ignored me. I didn’t bring it up again. Didn’t want to ruin the moment, also was pretty sure we’d be parting ways eventually.

Can’t remember how that day ended.

 

[littleoc]

That includes my mom and my sister.

If I hear them giving a kiss to my two-year-old nephew, I get panicky and feel protective.