Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[ILoveLife]

Sure, I'll work on that :roflmao:

 

[LuckiLee]

Just wanted to tell you that you may need a piece or two of mail with your name and address on them for the DMV. I'm really glad you have a plan to get somewhere safe. I'll be praying for you like always. XO

 

[littleoc]

Just wanted to tell you that you may need a piece or two of mail with your name and address on them for the DMV. I'm really glad you have a plan to get somewhere safe. I'll be praying for you like always. XO

Thank you! I will collect a couple just in case. I was sent medical bills every month this year, luckily!

And thank you :hug: I think of you also :) ? I hope everything has been going well for you and for your loved ones (all of them)!

 

[littleoc]

@Sietz I didn’t want to say it last night, but my twin’s mentions of the cages were extremely creepy. He said that because he’s a new Christian, he has had these revolutionary feelings and he’s in a “cage stage,” which is apparently slang for someone who has just gotten to understand something and thinks everyone should understand it? So he’s been aggressive on the Internet about Christian faith? Anyway, he gave his wife a look I couldn’t read and said, “It means I deserve to be caged.”

And his wife went, “Like an animal.”

And I dunno, it was just really disturbing for some reason.

 

[littleoc]

I suppose they meant that’s slang and he is just acting out trying to aggressively convert people, and not what I was triggered about already.

Phip doesn’t remember his childhood. Not except for tiny snippets. His memory isn’t like a neurotypical person’s.

 

[littleoc]

My dad started aggressively disowning Phip when he was about eleven or twelve years old. Because he was going to a Christian Church and identified himself as Christian at the dinner table. My dad yelled from the kitchen, “No son of mine. You’re not my son. You never were.”

My mom was sitting at the dinner table, and she leaned over a little and said, “You are always my son, no matter what you believe.”

Then my mom argued with my dad about the fact that you can’t just send your own son away to live with your drug addict friend, because then they could lose all their children, and my dad mentioned he’d like the quiet.

My dad doesn’t like children. He never has. He made that perfectly clear to my mom’s entire family long before they got married. They got married because my dad got my mom pregnant on accident. He blames his cat. He says the cat chewed on the condom. He said I was a miracle baby because he tried to get me aborted. My mom is very against abortion. Unless there’s a very serious medical condition to consider. She was forced once, so it made her really protective of her kids. Then for some reason she thought she should marry the guy?

My dad was apparently sweet when we were just babies. That makes sense though. Babies give adults all kinds of weird instincts.

My little brother and I, as four and five year olds, used to discuss my dad’s mental health. We knew by then that he was badly traumatized and that was what was up with his anger. We thought we would fix it.

 

[littleoc]

Okay, that’s out.

I’m gonna do something more productive now. :)

 

[littleoc]

It didn’t work out. Now I’m just having SI. I hate this. I need to get out of here. Can’t do anything right.

 

[littleoc]

I broke the floor with a butter knife. The cat came over to tell me I’m overreacting. But it doesn’t matter. The floor is so f*cked you cant even tell.

I miss the cats. They died because of neglect.

 

[littleoc]

They were there for me but I wasn’t enough to save them. I’m f*cking sick of watching family members die slowly. Every day every day. My entire life. Slow and starving and getting encaged in bodies that turn to dead flesh while the brain is still alive. I could see the fear in his eyes. He was still alive.

 

[littleoc]

He was still alive.

 

[littleoc]

He deserved it.