Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

The government website says I need to have my birth certificate with me, but it also says I can use my U.S. passport if I want to. Thank god.

I really need to get those documents. And repair the damage from the scam. I'm guessing I can't just change my SS number, can I?

 

[somerandomguy]

Unfortunately not. :(

 

[littleoc]

Hmmmm. Oh, well. I will just let government people know I'm still nervous and see if they can offer me any protection, because nothing bad has happened yet. If only I could remember the person who "helped" me out. Hmmmmmmmmm.

 

[littleoc]

Okay, well, here's something kind of funny for comic relief:

My mom brought me some Chinese stir fry from a little Chinese restaurant that showed up in town. It's pretty good. I thought it'd be better with soy sauce, so I started searching for mine, even though it's Japanese but whatever because this stir fry is probably already Americanized anyway. Then my mom went, "Oh, they had packets in the restaurant!" And she hands me one and says she wasn't sure if I'd want one or not.

I try it and it's DISGUSTING and watery, and I'm like wtf? The ingredients says that the first/main ingredient is "corn syrup." What? We want soy sauce! Not... corn syrup sauce :yuck:

But I got two fortune cookies. The first one says, "A new friends helps you break out of an old routine." The second one didn't make any sense and was ripped in half inside the cookie, but the cookie tasted good :)

 

[Freida]

Im really proud of you for considering calling your grandparents. It doesn't have to be about your mom -- you can stick with the independence story. They will be smart enough to figure it out. That house is making you, Dove and Nestle sick -- you have to get out.

You should be able to get a copy of your birth certificate from the courthouse in the city you were born in. And if you call Social Security and tell them you were a fraud victim they will walk you thru what you need to do next. It's happened to me several times. There's lots of hoops to jump thru but then it will be sorted once and for all.

 

[littleoc]

Thank you, @Freida, I will do that ASAP.

Maybe Tuesday. :P

I will work on getting out. Hopefully in less than a year. So I can adopt my sister’s two cats. She’s had them locked up in one room all summer. They grew up like that, but that was back when she lived in one room, so.

 

[littleoc]

I dunno if you noticed but your tone sounds exhausted. I hope you’re getting some good rest. You-time! :D

 

[littleoc]

So I always see posts in this diary before I go anywhere else, but I don’t “like” them. That’s because I’m not logged in.

Before I log in, I frequently check this forum to make sure no one is yelling at me. That’s the secret reason for why I put my diary in the general trauma diaries section. Because a “guest” like me can waltz in safely and check to make sure it’s safe.

It just occurred to me that that might be weird.

 

[somerandomguy]

Not weird. I think you should use this site in a way that makes you feel safe.

 

[ILoveLife]

I don't think it's weird either. I'm just going to say that in general, and in particular, you're really not weird. :)

I have my own rituals too. I check my diary for replies when I'm sleepy and can't answer, then go through the notifications when the coffee is still to hot, then after the first few sips I'm able to start replying.
When you see those first few replies in my day really short and emotion-void, it's because the coffee hasn't kicked in yet or I tried to asnwer before coffee :roflmao:
When I wake up in the middle of the night, I always check to see if everything's okay.

 

[littleoc]

I’m upset because I couldn’t fall asleep until five am and then I slept to four pm. So I got nothing done over the weekend and I slept through alarms I guess.

My brain seems to be fine from the injury for the most part, at this point. I don’t ask my phone to read me everything anymore. Maybe that’s because one of my professors misuses the hyphen all the time and it makes it being read to me confusing. But I’m typing here fine.

My vision started sucking but it was explained to me that I hurt the visual cortex so that’s a favorable consequence.

But the sleep issues have gotten both better and worse. I ALWAYS sleep ten-twelve hours, sometimes as much as fourteen hours. Even if I can’t fall asleep for a long time. It’s driving me crazy. It’s a waste! I used to be able to run off of normal amounts of hours and less. Ugh.

 

[littleoc]

Had very vivid dreams though. They were pretty cool. All centered around my dad trying to kill me or family members, but they had cool mythology so I didn’t mind. Also my sister’s dad trying to seduce my brother in a rapey way. Also other creepy dreams. I never woke up though. My head feels foggy anyway. Not foggy. Like getting to my thoughts requires moving a thick blanket to get to them. And it’s painful. I’m not sure what causes that. It didn’t used to happen.