Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

Got triggered. My mom acted defensive.

Brandi used to do that.

I just wanted to sleep before the tornadoes got here. Who cares.

 

[littleoc]

We need a new toilet. My mom’s house is so f*cking out of this world that it won’t happen. It doesn’t even work. It just triggers all day. I can’t get away from the triggers.

I’m sorry for not replying, I was waiting to feel less overwhelmed. Now the suicidal thoughts are back. I hate OCD and I hate PTSD and I hate feeling like I overreacted and pushed my mom away again. Even though all I feel lately is resentment.

I just cleaned the entire bathroom. Why do I even bother with anything? I just make a fool of myself and am just expect to fix everything.

 

[littleoc]

Told two random ass people today that I live with a hoarder. It’s nilling me. I can’t do it anymore.

 

[littleoc]

I really hate toilets. I reall hate them and I want to live somewhere where they stop bothering me.

 

[littleoc]

She thinks I’m an idiot,. I’m tired of it. I’m sick of being everything wrong.

 

[littleoc]

Why would someone lovecuou and rape you at the same time?

 

[littleoc]

Why does it have to be toilets? Why couldn’t some other thing bectriggering? I hate myself so much. ehy did she do that?

 

[littleoc]

I was finally feeling normal again. Why does this keep happening? What do I do?

 

[littleoc]

I want to go live on a hospital because at least it’s clean. They rejected me though. Said I’m uninsured and they don’t do that to people.

Also said they couldn’t accept me because of policy. Policy being that my mom and dad never paid my hospital bills growing up so they have to wait until I’m an established person to trust me? I don’t know. I think I didn’t understabd the call.

 

[littleoc]

I want to call a hotline but I’m too afraid of something listening to me through the door.

 

[littleoc]

I deserve to live.I deserve to live. I deserve to live. I deserve to live. I deserve to live. I deserve to live. I deserve to live.

 

[littleoc]

Im
Getting really ill.