@joeylittle I’m so sorry, I’m dysregulated again, so I waited a while to come back.
There’s a few reasons I haven’t gone to Scottie’s. I would need to bring my service dog or else she might get horribly neglected like last time I left her here. (When I was hospitalized last time, I didn’t bring her, and when she was invited in for visitation, she was clearly miserable, Not brushed, not bathed, and somehow covered in fleas and ticks. I didn’t bother to take care of myself much for the rest of my hospital stay. No point. I was too worried about my dog.) My other animals could die. My bird has come close several times since I “trusted” my mom with her care. All completely on accident, mind you. My mom’s not even malicious, just really thick. The cat would be fed since I’m buying her food but otherwise, nothing. No litter, forced to stay indoors — etc you get the point.
Although I guess I’m about to have no internet because my mom is being hella stupid, currently I have it and need it for my online classes. I can’t actially afford to medically withdrawal this time. I checked a few ways to do this. At least I wouldn’t owe the United States $7,000 this time as my “refund” if I did, nor would I be mocked by that god damn doctor who told the insurance that TBIs don’t exist, but I WOULD have to immediately start paying student loans within two weeks.
So I need to at least wait until between-terms to stay at Scottie’s, and continue to be scared that his cute dogs will get in the house and attack my dog.
About the junk removal — I considered that. I’m still going to use them to clean out the yard some day, at least. But currently I’m too angry. I’m sick and tired of being the one who’s supposed to fix everything all the time. And not allowed to have a of his or her own. I’m going to have to use my emergency funds that I spent the last six years amassing and not touching on just staying afloat, and I couldn’t be angrier. My little brother has been diagnosed with PTSD, my twin brother has been told he’s not welcome because he’s with a questionable wife but HE’S being blamed for everything, his children are all going to die, my sister’s husband was raped, and I almost died yesterday and barely even noticed. The guy was joking that he was afraid of me because the look in my eyes was just tired.
I can’t take any more of this and I’ve barely got any sanity. That little girl died in that hospital. I’m just a Fungus and I can’t deal with any more of anything, least of all helping my “mom” get this house cleaned. It’s her problem and I’m not dealing with it. I’ve done more than enough. She’s ruined me. She’s ruined my dog who doesn’t even want to do anything when she’s here. Straight up depressed. Not able to help me at all. I’d be fine if I hadn’t moved back here. Can’t take one more “revelation” from these people.
