My (ex) boyfriend and I have been "broken up" for about 5 weeks now and its all because of his PTSD symptoms. He still responds to my texts, I have seen him a few times and we have spoken on the phone a few times too. But we aren't together. He is ____________, I'm not even sure what to call it exactly....I would say isolating. But its more than that, I think he is also doing a mini-midlife crisis thing. Yeah, fun times. He recently was medically retired from the military and (I think) has lost his identity. When he was a little boy he dreamed of being in the military, in high school he dressed military and then joined ROTC in college. As soon as he graduated from college he went into the military as an officer. He has been in the regular military, national guard and reserves over the last 26 years. But the military has always been part of his identity, now it is part of his history and he doesn't need to put on the uniform or drill anymore. He said to me once a while ago (before he was retired), the next time he puts on his dress uniform will be for his funeral. Morbid thought.
Anyway, he is kinda sorta isolating and says that there are all of these paths in front of him and he is confused as to which one to take. Its like he is at a standstill. Even though he still loves me, he feels guilty for having me involved in his confusion and doesn't even know where the paths lead. The reality is, his path is going to remain right where he is for at least 6-7 more years until his kids all graduate from high school. This path change isn't urgent, however the feeling is overwhelming him. I know a lot about PTSD, as much as one could know without having it. I don't know a lot about TBI (which he also has) or the male midlife crisis - except for what you see on TV and he is not doing that sort of stuff. He just seems more confused/restless about his future. I guess I would be too if I were in my mid-40's and retired. I really think he needs a few hobbies and some guy friends to hang with from time to time. He is happy about being medically retired as his mind and body cannot serve any longer. And that may be part of it too - he likes to help/serve others and in the military he did that in a major way for our country. Now he does not....or physically cannot.
This is sort of a vent and sort of a ping to see if anyone is out there experiencing the same things with their sufferer. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do as a supporter. Continue to make contact? Leave him totally alone to figure out his path? {shrug}
Anyway, he is kinda sorta isolating and says that there are all of these paths in front of him and he is confused as to which one to take. Its like he is at a standstill. Even though he still loves me, he feels guilty for having me involved in his confusion and doesn't even know where the paths lead. The reality is, his path is going to remain right where he is for at least 6-7 more years until his kids all graduate from high school. This path change isn't urgent, however the feeling is overwhelming him. I know a lot about PTSD, as much as one could know without having it. I don't know a lot about TBI (which he also has) or the male midlife crisis - except for what you see on TV and he is not doing that sort of stuff. He just seems more confused/restless about his future. I guess I would be too if I were in my mid-40's and retired. I really think he needs a few hobbies and some guy friends to hang with from time to time. He is happy about being medically retired as his mind and body cannot serve any longer. And that may be part of it too - he likes to help/serve others and in the military he did that in a major way for our country. Now he does not....or physically cannot.
This is sort of a vent and sort of a ping to see if anyone is out there experiencing the same things with their sufferer. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do as a supporter. Continue to make contact? Leave him totally alone to figure out his path? {shrug}
