tranquilheart
New Here
Hello all,
I've been browsing this forum for awhile and finally decided to make a post.
I will be with my BF for 4 years now in November. Everything was good between us until I moved in May of last year.
Some background:
My bf is a combat vet who served in Iraq. He has PTSD and depression. Before he joined the military, according to his family and himself, he was opposed to alcohol. He went through traumatic experiences during his time served and while stationed in Germany developed a newfound love for the nightlife and binge drinking. His drinking behavior got the best of him then and he was put in AA for which he stayed only a couple months.
His drinking behaviors and how they affect his PTSD has become more evident to me since I've lived here.
An example:
When he drinks he feels unstoppable and ready to fight. Sometimes he even gets paranoid.
The scariest example I have of this is we had downstairs neighbors that were very rude and inconsiderate. It was late at night and they were arguing. My boyfriend had drank to excess that night and I closed myself away in the bedroom. I heard him open the door and yell something to them downstairs but I didn't think anything of it.
Next thing I know there's a knock on our door and it's the police. I had no idea what's going on. I come out of the room and my boyfriend tells me to be quiet. They knocked a couple times, hung around outside, then they were gone.
This is where I believe the PTSD kicked in full throttle - my boyfriend went into fight or flight mode. He was convinced that there was still police out there, that we were going to get raided. He had me turn off all the lights and move around quietly. He only wanted me to use a flashlight. The part that terrified me (still does even thinking about it) is when my boyfriend decided to stake out in the living room with his gun..and he had it pointed toward the door while he was sitting on the couch. He kept saying "I know you're out there and I'm ready for you"
He wanted me to look out our kitchen window and every time no one was there. Finally he got in touch with our neighbor downstairs who confirmed that there was nobody outside our place anymore. We stayed up till 2 am.
I never did find out why the police came until the next day. My bf told me when had gone outside to yell at them, he took a pirate sword we own and had cut their Christmas lights that was hanging on their balcony. It scared them cause it was unexpected and had sparked.
This is just one example of what happens when he drinks combined with the PTSD. He talks about the war, the guilt he feels and sometimes mentions how he wants to join again.
When sober he is always on edge and hyperviligant but the alcohol seems to intensify those feelings for him.
I definitely think he needs help for both but I believe since the PTSD underlies the addiction he should get help for that first.
The trouble is getting him help..he's wary of the VA.
Wanted to post this in the hopes someone has been or is going through a similar situation
I've been browsing this forum for awhile and finally decided to make a post.
I will be with my BF for 4 years now in November. Everything was good between us until I moved in May of last year.
Some background:
My bf is a combat vet who served in Iraq. He has PTSD and depression. Before he joined the military, according to his family and himself, he was opposed to alcohol. He went through traumatic experiences during his time served and while stationed in Germany developed a newfound love for the nightlife and binge drinking. His drinking behavior got the best of him then and he was put in AA for which he stayed only a couple months.
His drinking behaviors and how they affect his PTSD has become more evident to me since I've lived here.
An example:
When he drinks he feels unstoppable and ready to fight. Sometimes he even gets paranoid.
The scariest example I have of this is we had downstairs neighbors that were very rude and inconsiderate. It was late at night and they were arguing. My boyfriend had drank to excess that night and I closed myself away in the bedroom. I heard him open the door and yell something to them downstairs but I didn't think anything of it.
Next thing I know there's a knock on our door and it's the police. I had no idea what's going on. I come out of the room and my boyfriend tells me to be quiet. They knocked a couple times, hung around outside, then they were gone.
This is where I believe the PTSD kicked in full throttle - my boyfriend went into fight or flight mode. He was convinced that there was still police out there, that we were going to get raided. He had me turn off all the lights and move around quietly. He only wanted me to use a flashlight. The part that terrified me (still does even thinking about it) is when my boyfriend decided to stake out in the living room with his gun..and he had it pointed toward the door while he was sitting on the couch. He kept saying "I know you're out there and I'm ready for you"
He wanted me to look out our kitchen window and every time no one was there. Finally he got in touch with our neighbor downstairs who confirmed that there was nobody outside our place anymore. We stayed up till 2 am.
I never did find out why the police came until the next day. My bf told me when had gone outside to yell at them, he took a pirate sword we own and had cut their Christmas lights that was hanging on their balcony. It scared them cause it was unexpected and had sparked.
This is just one example of what happens when he drinks combined with the PTSD. He talks about the war, the guilt he feels and sometimes mentions how he wants to join again.
When sober he is always on edge and hyperviligant but the alcohol seems to intensify those feelings for him.
I definitely think he needs help for both but I believe since the PTSD underlies the addiction he should get help for that first.
The trouble is getting him help..he's wary of the VA.
Wanted to post this in the hopes someone has been or is going through a similar situation
