Relationship Combat vet boyfriend of 4 years “ghosted”?

[Spursfan21]

Friends 20 years. Lived together. Step kids that call me mom, their mom isn’t involved. We’d been fighting consistently, he has unmanaged PTSD. Hes been out of the marines for 15 years. After the fighting I went to my moms but we worked on it, said we’d figure it out and I had been pushing for reassurance when I felt his distancing begin. We still talked daily and he said he does love me, wants to work this out but needs to think long term, that he doesn’t think we’re over.
Then he asked for “a week or so of space because he feels like a coward and it isn’t fair to me over the distance he created and needs time to sort that out and figure us out long term. He does love me”
So I said okay, and we agreed to talk in a week. That day came and it was memorial weekend which historically is hard for him. He reached out but said he was camping and wouldn’t be home that day. So I said okay, spiral texted a bit and then he hasn’t reached out since. It’s only been 4 days but the silence hurts.
My stuff is all there, I have the keys to everything in the house, and his son still contacts me for computer access since I have the app on my phone and no one else has it.
Just confused.

 

[littleoc]

I have no advice, just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time with this.

 

[nursenurse]

Maybe this isn’t a good relationship for you…? How long have you been living together? Sometimes friends is a good place to be. He is not in treatment for his PTSD, huge deal here, it can be a minefield at the best of times. has he ever been treated? It is human to feel rejected when someone seems to drop off the face of the earth, but in this case you have to resist the temptation and give him the space he requested and needs without taking it as a personal affront. If you read along here on the forum, you will see that the veteran (meaning long term) supporters set boundaries for themselves to keep some sanity in their lives. But they establish this with their partners during a calm, rational moment in the relationship. While he is isolating, think about your own boundaries, what you need or will tolerate. Decide what is in this relationship for you, and the old Ann Landers question (i am dating myself here) : Am I better with him or without him? Good luck, I am sorry you are going through this.