Complex PTSD Sufferers, A Question About Exposure Therapy For You

[Dylan]

I relate to this (Squirrel Commander's post...cool handle, btw!): "In my case, what is most powerful is being PRESENT and becoming attuned to the kindness around me. "

I remember once listening to a meditation tape and the person says something about feeling secure "in the inherent safety of the world". My response was somewhere along the lines of, "W-H-A-T? What safety, inherent or otherwise is there anywhere???" However, that has begun to change, slowly, and I've begun to at least comprehend and even absorb some of this. What a relief! My work now is to continue to clear away other fears and the unconscious tendency to reject all potential of relative safety.

-Dylan

 

[BrownEyes]

Dylan,

To hear you say that your view of lack of safety is changing has made me feel hopeful that I can get there too. Right now I see everything as unsafe, and to know that you used to feel that way and are slowly changing, makes me feel happy for you, and for myself. Thank you for sharing that.

 

[tgrl]

I don't really believe in exposure therapy. For me, relaxing, slow, deep breathing for periods of time with my eyes closed, and keeping life as stress free as possible is the best policy. Getting a dog or cat may help also.

I won't get into elevators. It causes me problems. I don't like crowed places, but I'll go to them if needed, and get out as soon as I can.. But I usually will never get into an elelvator, and this causes problems for me when I ask how to get some place in a a large building and people point to the elevators. When I say, no, where are the stairs, I get funny looks.

It won't matter how much someone "exposes" me to elevators, I'm not getting into one, if I don't want to, usually if I'm alone. Sometimes, if someone is with me I can do it. I've never been traumatized in an elavator, I just know they are dangerous, enclosed spaces and I've even had elevator nightmares, even though elevators are not what caused me to get PTSD. Go figure.

I also hate freeways, and usually won't get on them unless it's absolutely necessary. You could expose me to freeways forever, and I'm not using them. They are over crowded and dangerous and I know that. It doesn't matter to me that everyone else does. I just think everyone else is crazy sinse they don't care about the danger that I know exists. No one will change my mind in that sense. If freeways are uncrowed, then I'll use them, but that's a long way out of the city, or less traveled freeways.

I don't like people to follow to closely behind my car either. It won't matter how much I'm exposed to it, I still know that following too closely is dangerous.

 

[Paloma]

This has been really a good thread for me. Thanks to all. I printed anthony's 'getting started info' and then read this. I have CPTSD and my traumas started at around 3-4 mos. My mom was not around and my dad was beating the crap out of me and I had extremely painful birth defects. I say this because I really haven't a way to understand that other peoples 'normal' is a far cry from mine. It has been such a relief to be here and see how many of you have the same extreme safety issues,etc.

I have to fight the tendency to rip off scabs and start digging around in the psychic wounds trying to find the mechanism of injury and remove it...without anesthesia. I am often as brutal to myself in a "helping" way as others have been in a vicious way. But I don't know any other way of treating myself. Iam trying to learn new skills. I see people hear say over and over to be gentle and go slow. So maybe I will get out of my current crisis before I get more into the exposure stuff...like the diaries.

I think the lack of clear self-identity, sense of safety, etc. makes therapy harder because a) I am not sure I know what a complete sense of safety feels like and especially around other people...like the T (who I like)...and b)my experience is deeply rooted in the most dangerous people are caregivers, seemingly nice people who turn into monsters,etc. So I am very anxious around "nice" people. A**holes I am prepared for. Hence a career path in construction surrounded by jerks I already know are a threat.:wall:

 

[ms spock]

This has been a very helpful thread. I have learnt alot from reading it.

I have Complex PTSD. I have no prior person to go back to because I was so traumatised as a child.

Exposure therapy doesn't work for me. I fall apart. But day to day management means I have come along way since seeing my current T.

ms spock

 

[evergreen]

I just reread this thread and it was so helpful. I actually found it by googling 'complex ptsd, exposure therapy'.

 

[Ghost427]

I have had a few very good exposure therapy experiences. We're they difficult? Excruciating! But we're they worth it? Absolutely. But you absolutely have to feel safe first.

Like most cptsd sufferers I have extreme trust issues and while I trust my therapist more than I did two years ago, that's not really saying much considering my trust issues. Lol! But exposure therapy did work for me in some very specific circumstances.

Everyone is different, Im learning to trust my gut more. If you're not comfortable with it then it might not be right for you. But I also know the times I've stepped outside of my comfort for the possibility of progress have turned out well more often than not.

I have had experiences stepping out of my comfort zone that turned out badly, even setting me back in progress, but those have been mercifully rare. All part of the process I suppose.

 

[712xx]

I enjoyed reading this thread. I think I felt something like some people might feel about their siblings, whom they haven't seen in a long time (if they like them and feel a family connection with them). I haven't experienced that 'love' feeling toward anyone that I can remember; not my family or anyone. I've looked up to people and admired them, but never really felt that family connection.

I have an idea what 'family connection' might feel like -- feeling like they understand you, don't want to cause you harm, warning you about life's road blocks up ahead, interested and invested in how your life is turning out, and feeling a sense of pride or devastation of your successes and failures. I may have felt a few of those things reading this thread (and a few other threads on this site).

Thank you for giving me that family-ish connection, even in a small way. I don't expect anyone to feel that way about me. I just like the tone of this site and appreciate that everyone here exists and have shared small parts of themselves to the point it does make a difference in other people's lives besides your own.

Cheers.
--{@

 

[Red Feather]

Exposure therapy is not having a panic attack so bad I think I'm going to die. It's breathing when all I want to do is hold my breath. It's not turning and running when all I want is to run away.

I really appreciate this quote. This is how I feel right now. Just standing in front of this black hole and not running away, although that is all I want to do.

 

[Tinyflame]

That's a Big Step Nadia. :tup:

 

[amandacarta]

Exposure therapy is not having a panic attack so bad I think I'm going to die. It's breathing when all I want to do is hold my breath. It's not turning and running when all I want is to run away.

I find that quote to be so true. My experience with exposure therapy is kind of backwards. I suffer from bpd which makes it very hard to be stable and to deal with things or even trust myself or someone else in the situation.

I did exposure therapy for a few months before my psychiatrist decided to do something else again. While doing exposure therapy I would be admitted to hospital. That was my safe place and I felt better doing it in there rather than at home. I wasn't putting my problems onto people around me that I felt weren't responsible for me. I found it hugely helpful and about the only thing that has allowed me to confront my past without constantly disassociating from it.

 

[billie]

Exposure therapy is scary