Complicated relationship with music

[BuildingSelf24]

I’ve recently noticed that the only way I can get through the work day with minimal triggers is to listen to music. The only problem is that I noticed that I dissociate form my body when I do this. I get this intense pains in my leg, shoulder, and neck. I get really tense too.
When I don’t listen to music though, I end up in flashbacks emotionally and with voices of the past.

I’m a victim of sexual assault and physical abuse as a child so I get why I would want to dissociate from my body.

I’m not sure if I should stop listening to music for a bit until I can get a handle on the flashbacks and what triggers them.

 

[Sideways]

What about different types of music?

 

[BuildingSelf24]

What about different types of music?

I hadn’t thought about that. I usually listen to music with lyrics. Maybe I’ll try listening to classical music and seeing if it’s still the same.
In terms of genre, lately it’s been metal, but other times it’s French or Kpop.

 

[Midnightmoon]

I mix music depending on parts and feelings, anything from orchestral to pop. I like music completely unknown to me when I feel particularly wobbly because it has no trigger. Maybe trying different styles is worth a go

 

[Sideways]

Yeah, I do metal when I’m boxing or if I’m trying to get in touch with my rage.

I have to be really fussy about what I listen to and when. Different playlist for every occasion!

 

[arfie]

i think i could give up eating more easily than i could give up music. it be nourishment for my spirit.

i add my voice to the choir singing the notion of stirring up your playlists. i believe there is a music for every emotion/mood. a thing i like to do with my own playlists is have them start from one emotion, then gently move me to a more suitable emotion. e.g. if i am depressed, i start with a few depressing songs and gently, gradually lighten the tones to more amenable tones.

 

[Friday]

If you're looking for background sounds you can control? in addition to switching genres of music, you could try books/audible in a language you don't speak. Or even one you do, or fav Tv/Movies, if it wouldn't distract you.

If you still need to hear/interact with your colleagues, I would suggest gun range or drummers earplugs. You can still hear everything CRYSTAL clear (not mumbldy muffled), it's "just" the volume that's been turned down, whilst eliminating the screech & scream of the high register & the boom & rumble of the low.

 

[BuildingSelf24]

I mix music depending on parts and feelings, anything from orchestral to pop. I like music completely unknown to me when I feel particularly wobbly because it has no trigger. Maybe trying different styles is worth a go

I notice that certain lyrics can definitely trigger flashbacks. It’s almost like it’s confirming the messages that I’ve heard from people in the past. I’m never really sure how to react when that happens. I just try to ignore it and keep working on my task but I’m worried it might give power to that particular notion in my mind.

I think switching up the genre and keeping metal for when I’m feeling angsty or want to connect with my feelings is the way to go.

 

[BuildingSelf24]

If you're looking for background sounds you can control? in addition to switching genres of music, you could try books/audible in a language you don't speak. Or even one you do, or fav Tv/Movies, if it wouldn't distract you.

If you still need to hear/interact with your colleagues, I would suggest gun range or drummers earplugs. You can still hear everything CRYSTAL clear (not mumbldy muffled), it's "just" the volume that's been turned down, whilst eliminating the screech & scream of the high register & the boom & rumble of the low.

Yea. I don’t like audiobooks. I prefer to read so I can go over the words again, highlight and make notes if I want to.
I was listening to podcasts and YouTube videos but it got to be too distracting.

Those headphones sound interesting. I work from home so the most I have to worry about is not hearing my grandma if she needs something or an alarm.

 

[Friday]

ea. I don’t like audiobooks. I prefer to read so I can go over the words again, highlight and make notes if I want to.

That's how I read, too. I only listen to audiobooks for the background noise, not the story, or education. Set on repeat & tune it out completely. Ditto for any movie I've seen. It's the ambience, rather than attention.

Those headphones sound interesting.

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[BuildingSelf24]

That's how I read, too. I only listen to audiobooks for the background noise, not the story, or education. Set on repeat & tune it out completely. Ditto for any movie I've seen. It's the ambience, rather than attention.

EP4 Sonic Defenders Plus

The world’s finest illumination tools and tactical gear for those who go in harm’s way and who demand the ultimate in performance, innovation, and quality.

www.surefire.com

I hear you. My problem is I want to be fully present listening to the book while working. Attention does not work very well when it’s divided though. I should try something I’ve already read or listened to so I don’t feel the need to pay attention to it.
Those sound really good and a good price too. I’ll try them out.