Compulsive Lying

[Adita]

You are loosing out on a whole aspect of living by not being engaged with others to that extent. Getting others to believe you feel a certain way isnt the point. It doesn't really make you feel good about yourself longer term either does it?

Oro

 

[Iwul]

But I don't see what's so.. important about caring for others? I mean, I can fake it just fine and people actually thin...

Because 1. It makes not lying for fun easier when you care about others
2. It makes you understand how you effect people
3. If you lie to strangers you will eventually get back into the habit

 

[Cizumu]

You put a lot into this. I am wondering what your pay off is. Is it feeling powerful and strong? Is it to make up fo...

I'm not sure to be honest. It may be due to my OCD to plan everything out and make sure things go accordingly and to also be prepared if it doesn't.. by creating a plan for that. I have a dozen plans for each event.

 

[Kapuh]

I've been numb. I've been suicidal. I've disassociated.

So do you get that's what the OP is talking about? The exact same emotional distancing, derealization, depersonalization, etc. Just using plain speech about it, instead of psychobabble terms that sound better. It's really common with PTSD to mentally whitewash entire groups of people. They aren't real, or it's impossible/really difficult to form connections, or all men are evil, or survival mode making everyone unreal except those one cares about most.

He/She learned to lie to their abuser to keep them safe. & just like some people split into different personalities, dissociate themselves, other people disassociate from everyone else -or almost everyone else- around them. That's honestly more common. People trample each other fleeing for their lives, push others into oncoming traffic in a panic; in life&death situations it's far more common in my experience for other people to become unreal, to take on little or no value, unless they are in a very tight circle (parent fleeing with child in a mob, soldiers in a unit, etc.). The people you love are real, everyone else? Not so much.

 

[Vedu]

but the mother and younger brother are quite entertaining themselves.

What happens when they stop being entertaining?

& Maybe I'd look there. There's more than 'entertaining' in those interactions. So what else than entertaining is there? May be a good pointers to needs, and what you need therapy for (in the 'healing that sticks' sense of therapy.)

 

[Cizumu]

I think you're getting a lot of tough love responses because many here have been abused themselves.

I personally avoid...

Hello, I've been wanting to reply to your comment but there were so many other messages and I kept getting distracted. I do not blame anyone for being upset or brutally honest and I completely understand. Humans typically don't like finding out they've been lied or deceived and I can understand what it's like to be abused by a manipulator which is probably where I learned how to do this. Usually if I'm able to spot a liar, I stay clear of them as well.

Also, no i don't plan to have children. I'm not a big fan and I know the possible dangers I can make. The world doesn't need any more of 'me' though I'll admit if given the opportunity of a clean slate to mentally mess up a child and see what I make is a fun thought to ponder about. kids are so easy; they're a sponge. But I don't want to deal with raising a kid. My patience for them is low.

 

[Juwez]

But I don't see what's so.. important about caring for others?

Increases your chances at survival, in most places.

Strength of the pack isn't just a saying.
Eventually, if we're to get dirty? Makes for a cover you may need to save your life without them.

 

[Uvar]

I am aware of the risks and downfalls. The flaws of lying. So whenever I lie I take into accountability what may happen...

Why? Do you see the problem in that? You have to do something you are to prove something you're not. ( allergies)

 

[Cizumu]

Oro again.
Yes what you describe feeling for your girlfriend is definitely emotional empathy. That means you are capabl...

Oh, sorry just to clarify, she is my best friend not a girlfriend. But I will say that if I was a male or if we were both lesbian/bi/or whatever sexuality that two genders can get together with, then I'd definitely want to be with her.

Even as a friend though, I'm also worried I'd hurt her this way.. which again is why i'm trying to solve this.

 

[Mocif]

So do you get that's what the OP is talking about? The exact same emotional distancing, derealization, depersonalization...

No. No.

That is NOT the same as going out of your way to watch people squirm as he put it. He even admits how fun it would be to mentally mess up a kid. You can't compare that. Sorry.

I'm just glad he recognizes that and doesn't do it.

 

[Cizumu]

Why? Do you see the problem in that? You have to do something you are to prove something you're not. ( allergies)

...[/QUOTE]

I know this doesn't make sense and really ins't worth putting my life at risk... but I mean. Well to be frank, it's fun.

 

[Cizumu]

What happens when they stop being entertaining?

& Maybe I'd look there. There's more than 'entertaining' in those intera...

I know this isn't the correct way of considering if I should actually care for someone and label them as a friend.. but once someone is able to catch my interest, I'll look deeper into them. Spend more time with them. Through watching them I slowly start to actually want to get to know them and not so much the science behind them and their actions or watching how they react. I do start to actually care for them.. well. Whatever amount of compassion I can offer IF my definition of compassion and "to care" is the same as yours.