Confused About My Vague Emotional Flashbacks.

[avery michele]

I have a lot of confusion about emotional flashbacks.

I know almost nothing about them, despite tons of research and reading online articles. I get them myself and didn't realize it until about a year ago. I was too ashamed of the weird feelings I got to talk about them to anybody. I ignored them for my entire childhood. I've been getting them for as long as I can remember- I can't even say when they started. This makes it really hard to find out what event is giving me flashbacks.

It's really weird. I've always considered myself "normal". I wasn't really abused, I had a stable home environment, I felt safe. Why am I getting flashbacks? It makes me crazy.

And it might be easier to find the cause if I knew the triggers. But I get them at COMPLETELY random times. Today at lunchtime, I was staring at a piece of lettuce while my friend talked about some baby she watches. All of a sudden I felt it- like a wave of overwhelming disgust, nausea, depression and shame. All feelings and no memory. Some other people said their flashbacks made them feel like they were very young and helpless. It kind of feels like that, too.
But that was just today. I don't get them very often. Maybe once every few weeks. It's not like my life is ruined by them or anything. I just want to know the answers.

Anyway, if anyone feels the same way, or has any similarities, please let me know and I will be very appreciative. Right now I don't know anything really so any kind of advice would help me.

Thanks.

 

[franciemarnie]

I would see a therapist and see if she or he could help you pinpoint what's going on. Otherwise you're kind of in the dark with no idea of your location.

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[avery michele]

Thanks. I know this is what I have to do, but seeing a therapist requires me telling my parents about my flashbacks and I'm very uncomfortable with that. I guess because flashbacks make me feel ashamed and gross. I don't want to share them with anyone.

 

[arfie]

With just about everything emotional, I have a hard time sorting the apples from the oranges. I can get insights from other folks, but they are my emotions. I am the only one who can feel them well enough to do the sorting, and it is all too often allot more difficult than it sounds.

What works best for me is not comparing one emotional rush to another and just watching it to see where it goes.

Hope you find yours, Avery.

 

[Venusian]

Avery, what you described is a lot like I felt most of my life. I knew something had happened, I just didn't know what. The fact is that you may never know or you may wake up one day and the memory of will come flooding back. It could also be that what you are feeling is totally not related to a trauma.

What ever the source there are things you can do to help alleviate the symptoms of what you are feeling. If you have heard the term "grounding" there are techniques to help you through this. A good one that my therapist taught me was to take a deep breath but do it slowly and when you begin think of drawing your breath in from the soles of your feet and as you continue drawing it in, feel the breath go up your body until you reach the top of your head. When you exhale, do it just as slowly and go back from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. There are many others that you can do and there are a lot of threads that list them. Try touching something and describe it to yourself, look at something and describe it. Some people wear an elastic band on their wrist and snap it, (there are some really pretty stretchable bracelets that would work).

If you want to talk to someone have you tried calling a crisis line? Is there a center that has councilors in your area? If you look there are usually some organizations that are available that have someone you could talk to that are free and confidential.

I hope that you find something here that will help you with this.

 

[SuperAnxietyGirl]

Hey, I understand about not wanting to tell parents. I'm looking into possibly seeking out help because my dissociation and flashbacks are getting so out of hand that I'm almost always confused, but to do that, my dad would have to know and he's the one that caused this. Also because I'm afraid of being marked as insane though I know from this site that it isn't the case.

Yes, they happen so much, that a small one just hit me while writing this. They used to happen every few weeks, a full on spell where I see and hear things with it, but now I just get the emotions , but every day .

 

[Overcast]

I have had flashbacks for years and they come at the most inconvenient time. Before they were troubling and created a lot of anger in me. Now they bring up the emotions of the event. I do not always recall all of the event though. What I have found helpful is journaling as close to the flashback as I can. If I cannot completely journal it out I pull out small notepad and write brief description of flashback and return to my task at hand. After finishing my journaling I do my best to remind myself this is the past and I what I need in the moment to move on with my life. I have noticed since picking this tool up my flashbacks are decreasing.

 

[avery michele]

Thank you so much to everyone. I'm going to work with myself and use the steps some of you have mentioned. I'm so glad I've found a place where there are so many others who understand and are willing to help.

 

[arfie]

We get by with a little help from our friends, Avery.

Welcome aboard.