General Constipation, having to spend lots of time in the bathroom

[Never_falter2]

I am not even sure if I need advice because I already know much about the condition. My guy has not been working since Easter (did not have to work) and I don’t think he had a stressful time but he has not been eating right and had much of trouble in the bathroom, where he needed to spend a lot of time and made sounds like a weightlifter. I wanted him to see a doctor but he didn’t want to. Has seen one before.
We wanted to take the kids to the zoo yesterday but we did not go for this reason (which I understand) and I am not sure if we are going today as we planned. Again he wanted to go to bathroom first, because he was not successful yesterday and has been in there for a long time. Really worried about how much he needs to grunt and wonder if this really okay.

He doesn’t really want to discuss this with me, he doesn‘t really want to eat. Just needed to vent.

 

[Hojay]

Well, bowel obstructions are a thing and need to be prevented. So are fissures, which would need medical attention if they occur. If he doesn’t want to eat, at least make him drink a glass of Flohsamen. Or, two packets of soluble magnesium supplements first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. Sorry you have to deal with that. It’s tough when someone you love refuses doctors.

 

[Never_falter2]

He is already magnesium supplements (not always... when he thinks he needs them for whatever reason), currently Magnesium Verla N Dragees. A bit sporadic in the last week but since four days he takes two Dragees in the morning, two during the day and two in the evening. Is that enough?

(He is eating.... chocolate, popcorn, eggs with ham this morning... just not eating healthful stuff). That’s what I meant by eating right. Cannot make him eat fruit or veggies).

 

[Hojay]

I’d be careful with overdosing magnesium. The water soluble kind first thing in the morning is good for that kind of problem. Empty stomach is a must. I’d suggest not taking any dragees throughout the day after that though. He should really go see a doctor though. It could be a sign of more serious problems, but you know that.

My mother is the same way with doctors, and it’s the one topic I’m absolutely relentless about with her, and that includes a good scream if required. Don’t want to go to the doctor? Ok cool, feel free to enjoy hearing about it every day until you go. I don’t care if you scream, yell, pout, tell me to mind my own business, you won’t be hearing anything else from me until you go. Wanna hear about my day? Let’s talk about going to the doctor instead. Period. I’ve even made appointments for her. She always goes after a few days of this. Just to make me shut up. Actually, it’s gotten much better already because she knows what’s coming if she made a fuss about going.

 

[grit]

He may benefit from the use of suppository. This is one of my chronic side affects of my CPTSD. Holding on this, I can only imagine as a child, became a life long problem that goes on still. Therapy has helped me great deal loosening up the muscles and I love it! I never knew shitting can be this satisfying (sorry TMI).
Chronic constipation, IMHO, is psychological not diet issue. I know people who eat really bad and never ever get impacted this way but end up having headaches - which I never get. If he is not eating and still constipated, I think he is extremely in fight or flight or real frozen mode and the parasympathetic system is shut down. What helped me and may work for him or not is that if I am alone and relaxed, and have no one waiting and looking and anticipating my energy, I go like a child or a healthy adult!
In a weird way, I love when my husband takes the dog for a walk in the weekends, I can take a giant one out! weekdays, I can wait after my coffe at work. Again TMI but this stuff is for real. Another way we get screwed!

 

[Never_falter2]

@Hojay: I made him go to a doctor since my first whiny post. He does not have cancer or anything bad, but he learned that his diet it lousy... which sort of offended him and he doesn’t want to go there again.

I think he actually understandably diet is lousy. He is not an idiot. I don’t actually know what it is. Is is difficult for him to eat healthful an no, he doesn’t want to discuss it with anybody.

I do not want to hurt his feelings. I want him to feel happy around me so I stopped saying the same things over and over again. Maybe wrong? I am not sure.

@grit Yes, I do think stress plays a big role in this. Besides his ptsd he also has a stressful job and he doesn‘t use the lavatories at his work for this, but comes home late at evening.
I often heard they say it is wrong to strain and constipation sufferers should learn to relax their muscles... and that confuses me. Isn’t constipation defined by having to strain with at least 25% of bowel movements (among other things)? However he is actually staring very hard in nearly 100 percent of cases and says he needs to strain as hard and much to make any progress at all. Like I said I am worried he needs to strain (sound like a weightlifter) so hard and much. I really would like him to discuss this with a doctor.

We already do have a step to place the feet higher, we already discovered warmth helps. So wealready know there are things that help but still it often is very bad.

 

[grit]

Well what I know from this (other people in my family too) is that eventually as you said he will strain so much that he may rip insides and will end up having a hemorrhoid surgery -and trust me one learns more about the expression "pain in the butt". I use suppository if I am that backed up. I do not use laxatives cause like I said my problem is not not making the thing but holding on to it.
the weightlifting comment is really funny but I know this is not a fun topic for anyone involved.

 

[Never_falter2]

He had a surgery years ago.
I thoughtweightlifter sounded odd but found not better words to describe.
No, I think for him it is not so fun right now but he tries to be cheerful about it and pretend he doesn’t mind... but I am a bit pissed if that something people only joke about has such a negative impacting life and on Minnetonka because I worry about him.

 

[Powder]

Just have him drink fluids with Miralax every day and then once every couple days to prevent. Also, no gluten.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Is he on any medications?

 

[Sideways]

Here’s the thing: you can live on an unhealthy diet, deficient in fruits and vegetables (we get fibre from plants), or you can have a healthy gut.

You can’t have both.

Your vet seems to be fairly committed to his unhealthy diet. It’s going to cause an increasing amount of problems for his health. This is one of them. But that’s his choice.

As he gets older, the more his gut is going to slow down, and the problem will gradually get worse.

The less exercise he does, the more his gut will slow down.

The less water he drinks, the more his gut will slow down.

Simple equation (healthy diet & lifestyle, healthy gut). But not easily implemented. And you can’t force someone to eat healthy.

By the time this problem is interfering with things like being able to go out? It’s probably time for laxatives in thr evening before bed.

Or more vegetables.

 

[EveHarrington]

You’re dealing with a stubborn man who rather die than work on his own health. So am I. Fortunately I’ve only been with my guy for 9 months and I’ve seen the writing on the wall. I can’t deal with this crap for life.