General Constipation, having to spend lots of time in the bathroom

[AngelKeeperJ]

I have had severe constipation my whole life, even before I started on medications that make it worse.

I have finally discovered the cure for me. I make a mix of whole pecans, English walnuts, almonds, and peanuts, a unsalted. I eat 1/2-1 cup 2-3 X's a day on top of Miralax in my coffee about 5 days a week. I have been regular now for the first time in my life, and have stayed regular since I started the nuts almost a year ago.

I'm getting the recommended protein for the first time, too. My diet is about as crappy as it can be. Fruits and vegetables never made much of a difference for me. Neither did that gritty junk for fiber. That really irritated my IBS.

I hope you find a solution. He has to be miserable, which will make your life the same way now and then...?

 

[Freida]

I do not want to hurt his feelings. I want him to feel happy around me so I stopped saying the same things over and over again. Maybe wrong? I am not sure.

if hubby had his way he would eat like a 15 year old boy. My thoughts -- I cook healthy foods and have healthy food in the house. He can eat it or not. usually he does because I don't allow us to keep junk food because I have weight issues. If he doesn't? hes a grown ass man who needs to figure his own life out. But like @EveHarrington said -- If he lets his health fail because he is a stubborn idiot I'm not dealing with it for the rest of my life

On another note -- I just discovered Senna which is for opiate induced constipation (my issue) and it is fabulous!

 

[Never_falter2]

Is he on any medications?

He is on antidepressants... but he always has that kind of problem. Only that antidepressants make it a bit worse.

You’re dealing with a stubborn man who rather die than work on his own health. So am I. Fortunately I’ve only been with my guy for 9 months and I’ve seen the writing on the wall. I can’t deal with this crap for life.

But I am in a long time marriage with children and I really love him.

By the time this problem is interfering with things like being able to go out? It’s probably time for laxatives in thr evening before bed.

Or more vegetables.

He is taking laxatives if he is away for a job... but they are not really recommended, are they? Only make thinks worse in the long run. So apart from that he avoids them.

It does not really interfere within going out. I mean he could have gone out if he wanted... but his doctor told him to use the bathroom right when he felt like he needed to. Typically he doesn’t because he avoids the bathroom at his work and when he arrives home many hours later having it is very difficult/impossible for him to use the bathroom.

So yesterday he felt very full and he felt like he needed the bathroom but also said it would be okay to go to the zoo and he‘ll use the bathroom in the evening/the next day... and I said “No, can you please one time in your life follow a doctors advice.“

Unfortunately he is still feeling full (do you know what I mean? Not sure how to say in English)... but we are going to the zoo if it is not to crowded because it is Saturday. In that case we will do something else...

Actually he struggles a bit with going out/ crowds and so on and it makes me really sad how often we do not go places for one reason or the other... and you have been looking forward to it so much... but I think today we will go.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Unfortunately he is still feeling full (do you know what I mean? Not sure how to say in English)

Bloated?

 

[Neverthesame]

He is taking laxatives if he is away for a job... but they are not really recommended, are they? Only make thinks worse in the long run.

Don't have any advice for you I'm afraid, just want to answer that you're correct here. Laxatives are not meant for long term use, it will lead to dependency.
The muscular rings that cause the "movement" in the bowel can atrophy, making it extremely difficult to pass even normal stools.
A high fibre, low fat diet with more water, really is the best way of dealing with this long term.

 

[blackemerald1]

Can you introduce him to the concept that he needs a minimum of 30 - 35 grams of fibre per day? As do you. But don't try and do it all at once.. build it up slowly.. That way you and he will not suffer any drastic side-effects and it's integrated into lifestyle more easily. It's doable and it will be one less problem your hubby (and you) need to worry over.

He can get that from any source. It just has to be soluble fibre.

AND drink lots of water in any shape or form too. (except grog :sorry:)

Eg. Oats... makes things like porridge, oat biscuits, muffins made from oats etc., And... reduces cholesterol too. He can load it up with sugar, honey etc., it will not reduce the fibre content.

Have a look online - there are heaps of recipes for high fibre things and they don't taste like cardboard, look great and first impressions would be that they are not healthy at all... but they are. ;)

He can get fibre any way he wants but if he finds it difficult there are some really good products that are tasteless and can be sprinkled on food or put into drinks. Especially if he isn't feeling particularly hungry.

Psyllium husk is completely natural, tasteless and can be added (be conservative!) to just about anything. It also has recipes online.. just google them. You can buy it in bulk, it's really cheap and has other health benefits but there's no need to tell him that. You can buy it flavoured etc., but why pay so much more?

The key here is to get that fibre regularly and for him to have a regular time of the day (or night) that he goes to the bathroom...

If he is finding he's uncomfortable, bloated etc., you could make him several drinks of hot water with very weak herbal tea or fresh ginger slices (which is really good for reflux and digestion too). The hot water should help soften stools, whilst encouraging the peristaltic action of the bowels. Which will help him go to the bathroom. That's got to be good. :)

Or make sure he drinks a hot coffee on the way home from work if he doesn't want to sleep straight away (or maybe coffee doesn't keep him awake). Coffee is also reputed to help jump start a sluggish bowel.

Oh.. and once you start adding fibre to the diet or at least consuming more. You may find you are both a little bit 'windy' for a week or so. That's just wonderful healthy microbes that live in the gut all adjusting to the new and wonderful idea that they are being fed and can move sh*t on! :oops:

Definitely taking laxatives isn't a long term strategy that is healthy. Nor is straining to move motions. If he wasn't stalled so long in the bathroom trying to go, he may find he doesn't have such a problem going during work hours or anywhere else.

Oh.. and exercise will help keep his gut moving too. Any exercise...

You may find he is less anxious about the whole process and his mood elevates slightly - just from this improvement.

Hope my suggestions are helpful @Never_falter2

 

[Never_falter2]

@blackemerald1 A stupid question because I tried to learn a lot about constipation but I am not a doctor: what is soluble fiber and how is it different from other fiber?

How is that fiber you can sprinkle over the food called?

A while ago Vet found a Müsli he really liked with oat flakes, apple chips, strawberry chips and the like... ate much of it (with Full fat milk) for a few days... and ended up even more constipated. We do not really know why. The milk? Allergic to oats or apples or strawberries?

He thinks milk could be a problem for him because sometimes he is just a bit constipated and sometimes it is very bad and he has no idea what he did wrong. He thought it may be milk and chocolate... and stress.

He thinks juice makes it better. Just asking if anybody heard of that because I never heard of that before.

However he drinks a lot of milk so far and likes milk shakes, yoghurts and so on... and now thinks of replacing milk with almond milk just to see what happened. Of course it does not have the same nutritional value but if it really helps he will search for another alternative. He just does this to find out if milk is the cause.

Vet knows about fiber... but it is difficult for him to eat right. I think it has to do with adrenaline. I think @Friday had a picture that described it... and this is also what his doctor did not understand when vet tried to explain... and vet is a little silly instead of trying to explain better he just decided to be offended and to to fall silent and now dies not want to go there anymore.
If you cannot eat well I try to make him smoothies.

We already know that warm water helps.

Thank you very much for your advice.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Dairy products could be causing his problems? It's a trigger for my gut. Not too long ago, I had a Smoothie 2 days in a row and ended up curled up in bed for 2 days...they were milk based. The almond variation didn't cause a problem.

Irritable Bowel is basically a dysregulation of peristalsis (bowel activity) I think the majority of people have the kind where it manifests with diarrhea, but I have the kind that has constipation/pain as my primary symptom. My "record" is 12 days without success...

 

[Sideways]

He thinks juice makes it better. Just asking if anybody heard of that because I never heard of that before.

Some juices, absolutely. Pear juice for example? They feed that to the oldies at my nan’s home to help them with their gut.

 

[Never_falter2]

Some juices, absolutely. Pear juice for example? They feed that to the oldies at my nan’s home to help them with their gut.

Actually he likes a juice called Multi-Fruit-juice the most, which is from aples, grapes, oranges, bananas and peaches. But generally all kinds of juices.

 

[Never_falter2]

Dairy products could be causing his problems? It's a trigger for my gut. Not too long ago, I had a Smoothie 2 days in a row and ended up curled up in bed for 2 days...they were milk based. The almond variation didn't cause a problem.

Where we from the diary products are common in the diet and medical doctorsrecommen people should drink 250 ml of milk a day or eat an equivalent of diary products. There are some who don’t... but as far as both offs have heard almond milk is not an alternative because it is lacking nutrtients. Vet just decided to drink this to find out if the milk is to blame. I know that people in east Asia dont drink milk but think that their diet might be adapted to it. Vet actually has a lousy diet full of cupcakes and nachos... well and actually full of milk products... and I think that in the long run he shouldn’t replace milk with almond milk for the long run. That wouldn’t be healthy... and he agrees.

Bowel is basically a dysregulation of peristalsis (bowel activity) I think the majority of people have the kind where it manifests with diarrhea, but I have the kind that has constipation/pain as my primary symptom. My "record" is 12 days without success...

I think a doctor told him he had this years ago but didn’t do anything about it... and I think his current doctor (whom he is theoretically seeing right now but practically has not been there for a long time) did not follow the diagnosis.
12 days sound really bad. Didn’t you see anybody about that/take something?

Sorry if this is TMI now. From what I know typically my guy has “real“ success only on the weekends (and if he missed one he gets really stressed and spends Monday night in the bathroom)... but he has small successes (a pebble/a few pebbles) during the week on most of the days... actually I do ask him for that... because when he needs to grunt so badly I am afraid he is totally blocked... and am relieved to hear he had a small success because it shows he is not.

I feel freaky to ask him that kind of question... but I thinks he understands I am just worried.

BTW I wonder if there are constipation boards like this ptsd boards. Not sure if this is the right kind of forum to discuss this.

 

[Hojay]

It could be a combination of things. Being a “heimscheisser” (haha) isn’t good because if you’re already leaning toward constipation and you’re not going when the urge strikes, the “material” will just sit there, which will cause the intestines to pull water from the material and dry it out even more. Ergo, constipation.

Milk can most definitely be a factor. Rather than almond milk, give lactose free milk a try. Unless he’s allergic to milk, which few people are, it’s lactose that’s the problem. It’s available at all supermarkets, and most have great lactose free options for yoghurt etc as well. He could give that a try

Also, dehydration. Also, lack of exercise.