Coping Isnt A Cure.

[moonbeam]

So good luck with your happy good lives. But be assured, it is no weapon.
It is a maids position, and they know it.

I understand you are angry and you have a right to be but be angry at the people who hurt you not at us. You have no idea what we've been through.

And to be honest this makes no sense. My abusers ruined my entire childhood. And have left a permant scar on my adulthood. But I'm trying to learn to cope and heal so that I can have a better future. Trying to be happy doesn't make me horrible. If I spend the rest of my life being angry and bitter and attacking people, then THEY win. I don't want them to win. I want to win and the best way for me to do that is to try to live the life I want, that's happy, and prove that despite the hell I was born into that I have rose above it to be more than the dirt I was told I was.

I haven't forgiven them. And I'm not greatful for what happened. It didn't make me stronger. It has made me deeply flawed. But continuing to be miserable just let's them win.

If you really want to rant and rave at people then go rant and rave at some pedophile site. Rant and rave at the abusers. Not at survivors who are trying to help you, and fighting back to reclaim our lives.

 

[anthony]

@robotdaily, consider yourself warned. Your posted content has so far been targeted to inflame members here versus targeted at your abusers. This is the definition of trolling. You have been banned from chat, you are about to be banned from the entire site IF you continue this internal inflammatory accusations and such towards members here.

 

[Deleted member 23044]

Go ahead and silence me. It's all you very helpful people ever want to do.

 

[joeylittle]

As you wish.

 

[anthony]

The problem is that it isn't what we want to do, it's what you put us in a position that needs to be done, because you're disruptive, aggressive and trolling towards the very community members you have turned to for support.

If you aren't a troll, then I do not understand why you've been insulting near every member here who has talked with you.

New members are given the least tolerance for good reason... because they are the group where trolls, spammers and such prevail, typically quite quickly. Established members have bad days, weeks and months... thus we accept that is just PTSD... but new members who insult the very people they turn to for help... that is the definition of trolling.

 

[ms spock]

I think you need to separate out 'the helpful people' who were complicit in your abuse. All the teachers that looked away whilst the predator preyed on you from other people that are okay, who a are fine people and also the people that are good and true.

Anthony and Nicolette run this site and they doesn't get paid for it. They have put considerable amounts of their own money in to providing a space for us to be online. They have provided a site for people, such as you and I, to have our conversation. This is very generous.

The moderators put in a lot of time and energy to make this place work for people like you and me. So showing them respect and consideration is very important. People are not infinite resources, so we have to really treat them with respect.

You have behaving in an unfair and unkind way to members on this forum. This is not okay. Being so childish towards people who have already done so much - and you got a lot of leeway on this forum before you got banned. So I hope you reflect on that.

You don't get to be abusive to other people, just because you were abused. It is not on. And it is behaving exactly the way that you were treated, and abused, getting your internal needs met by taking your stuff out on other people. That is something to consider.

 

[J.L. Pitts]

You are taking the phrase "if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger" in the literal sense. I agree with your physiological findings. That has been proven by medical science. But this phrase is not literal. This comes from a point in your journey that when you have reached it you will understand. As a Survivor of mental, physical, sexual abuse and rape (twice) as a child. I am a stronger person now that I have healed. And when you find that strength you start looking around for others who are struggling and you give them the strength to go on because if you can make then they can too. You have every right to feel this righteous anger! You have every right to feel everything you feel. But as you heal and grow you will find that you are stronger. No one wants to be made stronger by this kind of horror, but you either do become stronger or your healing process will be stunted. There are so many different stages of healing and yours is just as valid as another survivor. At first you learn you are a victim, then through therapy counseling and sometimes medicinal therapies. Each person was created differently with different needs. Some heal quite quickly, others like me heal quickly but stay in a healing mode all their life. You see after you are done being a victim, you become a Survivor, after that you will become a Thriver. I hope you find a way to get this hatred and anger out of yourself because truly you are right it is damaging you physically and keeping you stunted emotionally, mentally, and Spiritually. The turning point for myself of how I turned from Survivor to Thriver is when I gave forgiveness to my abusers. I had fought that for so long I had a bitter hatred for them, contempt, and disgust, why should I forgive THEM? After so many years, it was enough. In my faith, God Jehovah cannot forgive me if I am not willing to extend that forgiveness to my abusers. It is a terribly hard road to go down it feels like crawling on glass opening wounds from long ago, but in the end there Stood my Savior, Jesus Christ. FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL! OWN IT! IT IS THE RIGHT WAY TO FEEL!. But do not limit yourself from any avenue of healing. Every person's Journey is quite different. This little saying has you upset. But don't worry about it!Maybe it's not for you to discern in your life yet. Just seek healing in the way your mind and body can become healthy again.

 

[camabelu]

@robotdaily If you are a victim of abuse, you need to do something you will find very difficult. You need to take an honest look at yourself. Because what you have done on this site is the same as what every abuser does - you are taking what was done to you and using it as permission to abuse others.

In your first post, you said this - "I will NEVER express appreciation for the deep, dark, self awakening journey that I have had to undergo due to EVIL that I have experienced."
You are unaware of the strength contained in part of that sentence. The words "self-awakening" are nothing more than words to you at this point. I am not going to try to convince you that what is waiting for you in your life is worth what you're going through. Not because it isn't but because to suggest such a thing at this point would likely enrage you, and for good reason. I'll only say that, if you can, try to remind yourself that "never" and "always" are absolutes that rarely apply in life. You have no choice about being on this journey. You were forced onto it by others. You do have a choice about the direction it takes and, to some extent, you have control over how painful it will be. That isn't much comfort at all, I know. But it's true and it's what you have so I hope you'll embrace it for your own sake.

People reading your words are at different levels in their recovery. Someone like me is not triggered by them. Fifteen years ago I would have been. I would be doubting any healing progress I'd made - wondering if I was just kidding myself that I was getting stronger. It is reasonable to assume that for those of us who are far enough on the journey to survival and thriving to have been able to respond to you, there are at least as many others who've read your words and are now reeling from them and unable to reply at all.

You have no more right to hurt others than your abusers had to hurt you. I genuinely hope you can find some peace inside. But you must stop harming others enroute.