runningawaytothemoon
New Here
I was diagnosed with PTSD from anesthesia awareness seven years ago. I had just been diagnosed with cancer, was only in my 20s, and the entire surgical staff failed to take care of me. The IV line in my arm quit working during the surgery and I regained consciousness too soon. They knew it and I heard them even say those words. They denied it later, of course, as they always do. I'm just the idiot patient, right? I kept asking for help and was ignored. I thought they were going to kill me. After a lot of therapy, I have been able to continue get the medical care that I need, but pain is a trigger.
I recently had to undergo a saline infusion ultrasound of my uterus. I had some symptoms that were concerning and I wanted to rule out another form of cancer. I knew it was going to be unpleasant, but I completely made the decision to do it. There was no coercion or deception involved. I took 800mg of ibuprofen beforehand. My GYN, who is male (I've had enough of those bitch female OBGYNs who have no empathy), did a good job with this; he had trouble with my cervix and took his time, saying he didn't want to force anything, and when he finally had to clamp it, he told me if the pain was too much we could stop the whole thing. It was very painful but I just stuck with it. He was able to get the images and everything is basically fine. I was trembling at the end and had to wait 15 minutes before I could get in my car because I was so shaken up. When I got home, it was like I was emotionally shutting down. I was so tired. I couldn't focus. I finally took a nap and that resulted in me having a nightmare about my GYN where at the exact moment that I felt I could trust him, he sexually assaulted me. So upsetting. The next day I was suffering from some disassociation. I felt like I was floating and very distant from the rest of the world. It went away after some forced interactions with my colleagues. I had random crying spells for the next few days.
Three days later I was still in awful pain from this procedure. I wrote my GYN and he told me "I've never had a patient get an infection from this procedure and have just had one or two who had pain for long than a day or two. It's theoretically possible you could have in infection from the procedure..." Really?? Did I go out and have sex with six strange men following this procedure?! There's nowhere else this infection could have come from...
He wrote me a prescription for Cipro and it worked eventually, but in total, I lost almost ten days to this procedure and am so angry that I never ever ever want to see a doctor ever again. I was supposed to see my cancer doc next month but I canceled. I am supposed to have an official follow-up in the spring and I am so f*cking tired of the doctors and the bullshit. I just can't anymore. But ultimately that's not really an option because I am on medication for life that has to be monitored, at a bare minimum. I'm just done. I have a therapist, I've talked to her about this, she's not helpful. I'm just so over this.
I recently had to undergo a saline infusion ultrasound of my uterus. I had some symptoms that were concerning and I wanted to rule out another form of cancer. I knew it was going to be unpleasant, but I completely made the decision to do it. There was no coercion or deception involved. I took 800mg of ibuprofen beforehand. My GYN, who is male (I've had enough of those bitch female OBGYNs who have no empathy), did a good job with this; he had trouble with my cervix and took his time, saying he didn't want to force anything, and when he finally had to clamp it, he told me if the pain was too much we could stop the whole thing. It was very painful but I just stuck with it. He was able to get the images and everything is basically fine. I was trembling at the end and had to wait 15 minutes before I could get in my car because I was so shaken up. When I got home, it was like I was emotionally shutting down. I was so tired. I couldn't focus. I finally took a nap and that resulted in me having a nightmare about my GYN where at the exact moment that I felt I could trust him, he sexually assaulted me. So upsetting. The next day I was suffering from some disassociation. I felt like I was floating and very distant from the rest of the world. It went away after some forced interactions with my colleagues. I had random crying spells for the next few days.
Three days later I was still in awful pain from this procedure. I wrote my GYN and he told me "I've never had a patient get an infection from this procedure and have just had one or two who had pain for long than a day or two. It's theoretically possible you could have in infection from the procedure..." Really?? Did I go out and have sex with six strange men following this procedure?! There's nowhere else this infection could have come from...
He wrote me a prescription for Cipro and it worked eventually, but in total, I lost almost ten days to this procedure and am so angry that I never ever ever want to see a doctor ever again. I was supposed to see my cancer doc next month but I canceled. I am supposed to have an official follow-up in the spring and I am so f*cking tired of the doctors and the bullshit. I just can't anymore. But ultimately that's not really an option because I am on medication for life that has to be monitored, at a bare minimum. I'm just done. I have a therapist, I've talked to her about this, she's not helpful. I'm just so over this.
