Coping With Ptsd In A Long Term Relationship?

[Detached86]

I've just recently joined this forum in the hope to get a bit of understanding about myself and the way I act. I recently have been told that I have PTSD (within the last year) which stems from being abused as a young child, this diagnosis has made me feel a little less crazy than I thought I was haha and has given me a bit more understanding about myself.

I have been in a relationship for two years now and have a very loving, supportive girlfriend but I still can't seem to communicate openly with her, if I have a problem with her I bottle it up and they seem to come out inappropriately in an argument with unjust and very hurtful comments. I completely shut down when I get confronted about anything no matter how small it seems that I take everything as an attack and get hurt and upset and just sit in silence and not be able to come up with anything to say which is very difficult for my girlfriend but also me because I know I shouldn't feel or act like that and if it continues it will ruin our relationship.

Also lately I just keep thinking things would be so much easier if I wasn't in a relationship and actually believe this until I nearly loose my girlfriend because on fights I start, this is a worry to me because in the last year I have lost contact with all my close friends and family and I don't want to loose the most important relationship I have.

I just wanted to know if anyone else just can't seem to open up to someone you trust whole heartedly and push everyone close away and what steps you can take to break cycle. I know it sounds so simple to solve but it seems I just keep falling back into a mind frame that I can't get out of.

Any response will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi!

Do you shut down when triggered? This is what happens to me. I literally lose my ability to speak. I was told by a trauma treatment center that this is not uncommon for those with PTSD.

It literally takes everything I have to say "I dont feel good" which everyone knows means I'm in a bad space and I get cut some slack. Then when I'm feeling better I can express myself more.

 

[overtheview]

I have been with my now husband for 16yrs. When we started dating I was just 16 and a complete mess due to childhood abuse. I would constantly start fights with him because like you I found it difficult to trust and so would try anything to push him away. I felt like I wasn't worth being with because I was so messed up. We had many ups and downs and even broke up for a while but in the end we pushed through it.

When I was 22 I was diagnosed with PTSD and a lot of my reactions started to make sense. I was a really difficult partner for a long time but he always said that he saw through it. I still even years later feel guilty for the way I treated him but I physical could not trust a person at that time. I grew up with parents who instead of loving me treated me as in object for their benefit. If my own parents could not be trusted then how could I ever trust someone else.

Everything takes time and talking to your partner and really explaining why it's so hard to trust makes a big differences. I don't know where I would be without my husband, he was the only person I ever truly had when I was younger.

I wish you the best and hope you can work through it.