General Could Use Some Advice

[TheDoll83]

Shortly after returning from Afghanistan my husband was diagnosed with PTSD. This occured after many fights between the two of us and a substantial amount of insistance that he see a professional by me. I am in the mental health field and recognized the signs of PTSD, however I am not a medical professional and our relationship is obviously far to intimate for me to be able to help him. Since his diagnosis he had been to the VA a hand full of times to see a professional, but eventually he stops going. When he begins to realize that he is still having problems he will go back once or twice and then quit again. He self medicates with alcohol because of trouble sleeping, and he has recently begun sleep walking and urinating in random places. This morning he was having one of his sleep walk episodes and when I followed him into the bathroom he screamed and backed himself against the wall. I am not sure if he realized I was there or what happened, but he proceeded to use the restroom and go right back to bed where he was soundly snoring five minutes later. I spoke to him later this afternoon and he informed me that he had no recollection of any of this, and became agitated when I told him that I thought he should go back to the doctor and resolve some of his issues, telling me that he "doesnt want to have PTSD". The fact is that he does, and I feel as though I am reaching the point where I can no longer handle the fear that I am going to approach him at the wrong time and startle him, or the stress of not knowing where I am going to find him when I wake up in the morning. He has never been violent towards me, but sometimes I feel like it could happen during one of his sleep walking episodes. Is this normal? What can I do? How can I support him and encourage him to get the help he needs without offending him?

 

[clare]

Hello and welcome,

I'm new too and I don't want to try to help someone when I'm not healthy enough to do so (as Anthony wisely advises). However your thread really brought back some scary memories for me. After drinking My husband would often wake in the middle of the night, wander around the house and urinate wherever, if I tried to wake him, he would get violent. The next day he'd get extremely defensive if I tried to discuss his drinking or related behavior. Mostly he managed his drinking quite well, but as it increased, so did the chaos. He refused treatment and AA until the police became involved. Today he has been sober 1 year and is finally getting the treatment he needed. Please, please take the drinking seriously it may be a result of ptsd, but it could put you in a very dangerous situation. Contact your local AlAnon group and get some initial support for yourself.

Take care,

clare

 

[Deleted member 541]

Being in the mental health field, you should know that people with PTSD are difficult to deal with. We use denial, lousy coping skills(or none at all), drinking, drugs, sex, and whatever else we can use to numb up, or ignore the inevitable....That we have PTSD.

He knows that he has it. He also doesn't want to believe it either. He needs to come to acceptance, before he can work on himself, long term.

This has to be awful for you to watch, and to endure, but other than being supportive, and suggesting he get help, there really isn't much you can do at this point. I hope that he will soon see, that he needs help, and will seek it.

 

[pebbels]

Hello Doll83:hello:welcome to the forum where there is good advice, which Clare and shecat have done. It is a scary situation you are in, dont forget this involves YOU as well so look after YOU and i echo what they have said wholeheartedly. Good luck:Hug_emoticon: