I was raped by my father, his chums, and my stepfather. My mom and my dad both ultimately committed suicide. My current life has been stressful with harassment and some stalking I've been struggling with renewed PTSD issues. I hate all of this new/old symptomology, but this is the world I've got, so I'm going to have to make the best of it. I'm struggling with the hurt and the shame and the guilt. I am so weary with everything. It hurts me that my father's big "dream" for me was to be a dual hit man and prostitute; that was his big job training plan and that is what he put into place for me. Sigh. I am just tired, scared and it is hard to be optimistic and live with the sense of doom all the time. Patricia