Dark Shower Of Ptsd And Ocd

[emz315]

I actually dont know what to write back between @Lemontree @Kaia and @TreeHugger..i do appreciate all the input anyway but i do like a kind place to go and it is the reason i come on here for support, :) and to speak to all you lovely ppl around the world...i think everyone means well and just have opinions about topics and i think thats okay ppl will either agree or disagree...all calm cool and collected i think is the way to go.

hugs if accepted

 

[Deleted member 28812]

Sorry. I did not want to use your thread for an argument. I used the words "always watchful" instead of hypervigilant because my husband likes it better... and I am very sorry but I won't say I am sorry for using a word that I thought LESS offensive.

But I will have another thread as for not discussing this in yours.

 

[holdenmonty]

I couldn't agree any more with @Lemontree about the 7p's. When I read that I felt like she was the spouse of military person here in the states. She could have said her husband has an issue with the germ thing instead of people with PTSD but I don't see why @TreeHugger to me what appeared as an attack towards @Lemontree. I also think that Sometimes people with PTSD at least myself have a hard time with jumping to conclusions and trying to read somebodies mind. I know I do both of those really badly at times and I'm trying to not do it as much. I also feel as though [DLMURL="https://www.myptsd.com/c/members/kaia.5084/"]Kaia[/DLMURL] could have said things differently. One of the things that my therapist has taught me that helps is when I'm angry and I'm about to explode I say 1,2,3,4 and then 4,3,2,1 what the heck is bothering me and I assess what is going on and what my feelings are and I attempt to write with a level head even though it doesn't always happen but when I go back and read what I wrote, and if I was in the wrong then I apologize. I think we have gotten this thread way off topic and should focus on helping out @emz315

 

[Deleted member 28812]

I actually did not want to say that all people with PTSD have a problems with germs. I wanted to say they are watchful or hyperviglant. English is not my native language and I am sorry for possible misunderstandings.
In case of my husband his hypervigilance makes him feel afraid of germs.

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

my man is the same way about "germs" .. to the OP - seems a little ironic to shower in the dark AND be highly attentive to cleaning things. Harder to get fully clean in a dark shower? *shrug* I no know! ;)

:hug:

~S2B

 

[Ronin]

seems a little ironic

Not really though - if you don't see it it may well not be there for the moment. Hence showering would be safe enough. (in friendly spirit, just thinking aloud.)

 

[holdenmonty]

so now to address @emz315 OP asking for some perspective. I have combat PTSD and I to have showered with the lights off but there is a window kind of similar to the one you described to let in very little light. For me it was something that I liked to do when I was in a dark place. There is just something about showering with just natural light that I found very relaxing. And the clutter I can totally relate to, before I had combat PTSD I was kind of a messy person and clutter didn't bother me but after my deployment that lead to my combat PTSD after I got back I found that I felt like everything had to have a place and everything needed to be in it's place so it could be easily found and you weren't wasting time and effort looking for something. I turned into an efficiency freak for a while and even though now I still like having things neat and organized and as efficient as possible I have a wife and a three year old and a one year old and neat is not something a three year old and one year old do even remotely think about it's like making a mess is their job.

I watched a video a while ago on youtube I will have to try and find it again but it showed the guy getting ready for school and putting stuff in his back pack and putting his stuff in his pockets and then it flashes to him putting on his body armor and loading his weapon and getting ready in the combat zone, and I can totally relate because I have to have my stuff in a certain place and it is in a certain order of how I get ready for the day and if it isn't then I have to fix it before I can get ready. I found the video WARNING POSSIBLE/MORE THEN LIKELY POSSIBLE TRIGGER AT LEAST FOR COMBAT PTSD INDIVIDUALS

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

I have combat PTSD and I to have showered with the lights off but there is a window kind of similar to the one you described to let in very little light. For me it was something that I liked to do when I was in a dark place. There is just something about showering with just natural light that I found very relaxing.

Really like hearing this one .. I could definitely see that .. a dark shower as a momentary reprieve from stress/anxiety .. makes me *happy sigh* just thinking about it! :) :)

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

I read up on this and it said if the obsessions/compulsions arise out of trauma, it is ptsd, but if not it is Ocd.

Incidentally, I find this a VERY helpful distinction! :)

~S2B

 

[Deleted member 28986]

I have showered in the dark a time or two, and it can be a much-needed break for the senses. I also love to jump in the bath (pitch dark) with or without some soft music playing—and I'm doing that quite frequently lately instead of my usual showers as part of a self-calming routine. Many days, the very best I feel all day is when I'm in the shower, feeling the steaming hot water release tension in my back muscles. It's very relaxing for me. I spend a bit more time in the shower than an ordinary person might—just because it feels good and safe to me.

Anyhow, most people have something that helps them feel safe, and those safe things can be especially important to sufferers. I obviously don't know your partner, but my wild guess is that the shower—especially with the lights out—is a relaxing, safe place for him.

If your partner is in treatment and his "odd" behaviors are somewhat benign, I'd say don't mind those "odd" things . . . at least at this stage in his recovery. As he recovers he will naturally reduce his need for coping/calming routines.

I know it's really hard to understand the behaviors of a PTSD sufferer. PTSD affects not just many, but MOST aspects of our lives, in ways you truly wouldn't expect. We seem to make no logical sense—I know! There is a sense behind it, but the only way to fully understand PTSD to experience it yourself. Even my excellent therapist, skilled as he is, says I understand more about PTSD than he does. I'm so glad you don't have the disorder and it makes me feel good to read your posts on this site and see how much you care for your partner. Your search for knowledge and understanding is a beautiful expression of love.

Have you read any books out there written for those who love someone with PTSD? There's some great stuff out there, and I would be happy to offer suggestions, as I'm sure others here would too. :)

Peace and love.

 

[theotherside]

Hi..i too shower and bathe with lights off. I cant handle them on. Makes me feel exposed even if im alone..there is a window so a little light comes in. If its dark out side i will just light a candle...
I wasnt like that before my ptsd

 

[scout86]

Here's something to consider. The answer to "why does he do that?" is usually going to be "because it seems to make him feel better". Can that be enough of an answer? Unless his behavior directly affects you? Questions that start with "Why?" tend to make people defensive. You may not mean it that way, but it sounds like you're coming from a place of criticism, not curiosity.

@Lemontree , your English is so good, I don't think about it not being your first language!