Dating Someone With Ptsd.

[anthony]

That would be my advice... though what you do is obviously your decision.

My point is more... you can't judge how any person is going to react to such news, because unless it is said, it is all just guessing. As you have a child and can see he is good with them, and can use your experience to gauge better, I hope that has helped you. Anxiety is a nasty thing when we can remove it with honesty. Best wishes in telling him, look forward to hearing how it went. It will only be one way or the other... I think you can feel best on this, and use your instincts on what you already see and experience with him.

Congrats if you are pregnant.

 

[Kadie]

yes, you are right. I will only know when I tell him. (once I know) But yes, a reaction can be one way or the other, and that is with anyone not just someone with ptsd. Bad, good, indifferent. I will be able to deal with whatever.
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, who knows.... But I will def let you know if I am, and how it goes when, and IF I have to tell him.

 

[Kadie]

So I just took a test today, well 2 tests, both positive..now I am terrified to tell Mike....think I should wait till after the doc appt. or before?

 

[anthony]

Congratulations....

 

[Kadie]

Well I told him. He took it pretty well considering the circumstance. He said he was excited and wanted to go to all the appt's and such. He is still a bit of a commitment phobe, I guess I shouldn't push things.It's just hard to not want some kind of stability in this situation. He is also a huge flirt, which really bothers me. He needs a lot of "woman" attention. Is that normal? Or is he just milking it up? But all in all, he is being great about it, spending a lot of time with me and very interested in learning everything with me. He says he is not ready for a serious relationship. I should be understanding and respect that. But I won't lie,it's a little frustrating..What should I do...feeling a little down.

 

[Nicolette]

Umm.... Sorry to put a dampner on this but I think you are going to have to lower your expectations. If Mike is saying he is not ready for a serious relationship and needs a lot of attention from other women I would suggest this is not a sign that indicates him jumping into a full on relationship with you.

My opinion on what you are saying is that Mike will probably step up & be the best parent he can be however I wouldnt go into this not considering you may end up single with joint parenting.

Good luck. I would not like to be in your shoes.

 

[Kadie]

Yeah. I already know this. He isn't ready for a full of commitment. Yeah, it sucks, but at the same time, we are pretty much together, it's odd. We spend most nights together and do everything together, our families are close, we are close. I just think patience is what I will have to cling to with him. He is always open and honest with me, which is good. He says he wants to raise the baby "Together" even talks about getting a house together and such, so I mean, I know what he wants to do, but I also know what he is ready to do right now. I think we could end up together, but I also know we might not. I always prepare myself for either scenario.. just kind of sucks being in limbo.

 

[anthony]

I don't think anyone can tell you what to do actually, even though you want advice, because there is no right answer except the answer you decide for yourself.

You can only derive that answer by looking at the facts of your complete situation. Put all those points you have mentioned above, plus any others that affect you that aren't mentioned, then review the entire scenario and bounce it off others in its entirety, but you are the only one who can decide what is best for you, not another.