Day From Hell

[Leah Morgan]

So I got woken up this morning woken by builders coming to install solar panels not great when you have had a bad dream and are soaked from waist to knee. After pulling my mortified self together I hide my panicking trembling self in the garden curled in my egg chair.

I then have to do the school run. I get to school drop my daughter into nursery and get caught in the parents rush I start to sweat tremble hyperventilating crying hard to do when you can't breath, the teacher notices and grabs hold of me as I back into a corner and start to fall. I get a grip enough to grab my son and run for the car.

I calm a bit and have to try the supermarket I have no food. Stupid decision I have another full blown melt down culminating in me vomiting down one of the isles and flee with out shopping.

I rush to collect my daughter who's teacher is waiting for me to explain what the hell is wrong with me. She was kind when I told her I was struggling with PTSD but am mortified.

I now have to go to my daughters new school for her induction evening where I will have to sit with 90 other parents in a hall god help me keep a grip of myself.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Oh my goodness. That is a horrible day. I hope you can get through the induction evening and then have some peaceful time for yourself.

 

[Green pastures]

@Leah Morgan - you are brave to keep doing what you need to do. It is not just a little thing to do what is expected ... you are kicking some ass. Despite the ... way you feel.. you are still able to do what you need to do. not that I feel that way when I go through the hell days...
When I am at things for my kids like what you are going too. In all honesty if it is something I do not have to pay attention at .. I just busy myself with anything so I am actively listening and engaging the other part of my brain that is struggling to stay present. For me I play stupid ass games on my phone - one of my favorites -- non-thinking games is Plumbers Crack.

However, I do not know what you are feeling but I am thinking about you and here to listen and support ... have a peaceful afternoon. :hug:

 

[Friday]

Can this day get any worse? ... Yo! Life! I didn't mean that as a challenge!!!

Stupid universe.

For myself... If I could pop in the shower and present myself as all put together & smiles? I would go to the parent intro night. If not? I would soooooo "call in sick" & stay home make a blanket fort and watch movies with my kid. No food in the house? Order in a couple pizzas.

 

[Leah Morgan]

Okay so I'm tucked in my bed having trembled for two hours deseperatly trying not to pass out or puke again. But I held it together and have to say I was so impressed at what little I could pay attention to. I'm so pleased for my little girl I'm sure she will be nurtured and will excel there.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I am glad you made it through and were able to get some information from the meeting- staying present after the day you had- that's amazing. And I am happy you like what you heard. I hope you can calm now that you are tucked in bed. That's always a good place for calming and comfort for me. In fact, that's where I am right now- my bed.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm a bit concerned for you......stopping meds cold turkey, you convinced your doc and employer to let you go back to work in a few weeks, yet you can't function enough to get food for yourself and kids? I understand this may be a bad day, but I get the feeling that you're trying to jump the gun on healing.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am so glad after the bad, horrible day you experienced you made it through the meeting. I too have vomited in public and it is so embarressing so I understand why you did not shop. I hope you are able to function normally at work in spite of bad days. Good luck, I wish you the best.

But I sure hope you give yourself enough time to recover a little and feel more stable when you go back to work.

 

[Leah Morgan]

I'm a bit concerned for you......stopping meds cold turkey, you convinced your doc and employer to let...

Finances demand it, I have to make it through one day before my 100 day sick reset. I'm sure I can make it through one day even if I cower in the toilet