Dealing With Nudity And Sexual Content

[Gs172003]

Your husband sounds incredible.

I dont need my boyfriend to be perfect. I just need to feel like he...

There is no perfect boyfriend but yours doesn't sound cool at all. Making a promise he didn't intent to keep and then getting upset at you about it sounds pretty danged crappy to me.

 

[AllAtOnce]

There is no perfect boyfriend but yours doesn't sound cool at all. Making a promise he didn't intent to...

Yeah maybe youre right. Its so hard to cut him off for it though. I know he only does those things because of the mental illnesses he has too.

The lack of commitment stems from his depression and his reaction to my panic attacks stems from his anger issues.

So I try to be understanding. I do love him, even if I get frustrated and upset with the way he treats me. Afterall, no boyfriend is perfect. He's worlds better to me than the other guys Ive been with.

 

[Gs172003]

Yeah maybe youre right. Its so hard to cut him off for it though. I know he only does those things be...

What else are you justifying?

And as far as movies etc you might enjoy ...

Pureflix.com

 

[Muted]

What else are you justifying?

And as far as movies etc you might enjoy ...

Pureflix.com

We love pureflix movies!!! We have found them to be encouraging and inspirational. Goodness knows there's plenty of negativity and offensiveness already in our everyday lives.

 

[Gs172003]

We love pureflix movies!!! We have found them to be encouraging and inspirational. Goodness knows there...

We just discovered it. Wity my husband trying to stay away from anything that could trigger him back to his old lifestyle we avoid anything that has "dirty" stuff in it

 

[bring em all in]

AllAtOnce: I agree that you are in the right place here in this forum, and I applaud your decision to participate!

As for SC and nudity- I think there are people who would agree with your position even if they didn't have PTSD. Christianity would certainly (if observed closely) frown on reveling in those 2 things, and as a Buddhist I try to abide by the Five Mindfulness Trainings- among which one addresses appropriate S behavior and another which pledges to refrain from certain unhealthy media images.

While you might benefit to desensitization, whether you do or not I believe it is possible to find a man who avoids SC and nudity for whatever reason(s) he might have. It's just difficult in this SC and nudity obsessed society.

 

[AllAtOnce]

AllAtOnce: I agree that you are in the right place here in this forum, and I applaud your decis...

Thank you @bring em all in

Thanks everyone. Youve all been incredibly helpful and encouraging.

Ive decided that I can still have standards for my significant other that dont compromise my beliefs while also learning not to take infidelity so personally/be so panicked about my SO seeing those things. Instead of taking it personally and letting it get to me, I can simply cut them off and find someone who has the same definition of faithfulness.

 

[bring em all in]

It's hard enough to find a person you like who likes you- and then we have to discover if they value the same things we do. It's a wonder love ever works out!!!!!!

 

[Finchlet2]

Whoa this is a minefield so forgive me if this reply is unorganized as I'm unsure where to begin. Ok firstly do you not realize that by avoiding images that make you feel insecure your partner will end up missing out on so much other content that's not sexual. He could be missing out on the funniest jokes he's ever heard,ones he can store and remember to keep him going through tougher times. He could be missing out on thought provoking issues the film raises that might even change his perspective on life. Your denying him a chance to develops and grow as a person. He can't be expected to miss out on all the other content the film has to offer just cos there's a few minutes of nudity. Why don't you offer something along the lines of "look babe I know your really interested in this film and i don't want to deny you that experience so why don't you watch it but when the sex or nude scene comes on pop into the kitchen and make a cuppa." That scene will be over by the time he's made that cuppa! As you see his lack of enthusiasm for the women in the film and that his interest in the film lies more in the funny gaffes and story content than the life size barbies playing the generically pretty females your anxiety levels will decrease slowly u ntill eventually one day he will be about to step out to the kitchen in the lead up to a nude scene but you'll be like "no babe stay I don't want a cuppa" and he'll be like "serious!?) Not because he wants to see the nudity but because was enjoying snuggling on the sofa with you! Trust me I murdered my own green eyed monster for the sake of the freedom of the man I love.

 

[Vger]

Society is so desensitized. Its true.

Sex is so intimate. I dont want to share those intimate things...

AllAtOnce - I really understand where you are coming from... however I am on the male side of the whole intimacy and nudity thing and struggle with a TON of it... consider sex such an intimate and private matter that I struggle with the non-chalant attitude of it throughout society and my feelings about it have nothing to do with religion but about our own person and value of ourselves. The question to be asked is would the significant other mind if all the nudity was of males strutting around instead of females... my bet is that wouldn't like it one bit.. but that's just a theory of mine. That thing about feeling of worthlessness and that my love feels as though it is worthless is huge within myself... it is the root of my emotional pain and I am working on it still.

 

[NightSky]

I can't handle SC in movies or tv shows at all. I've been happily married for 15.5 years, and my husband tends to gravitate toward things that would be disturbing for me to watch (Like True Blood for instance). My issues don't come from insecurity, however I do have panic attacks and am super triggered by SC. I don't ask him to stay away. I just go in the other room and wear headphones. At first I was hurt by it. But then I started to work on my own issues in therapy. I think that would be a really beneficial thing for you to do. Even if you choose to go for someone who sacrifices for you (totally your right and your choice to do so), you don't want to have to live with that if you don't have to.

 

[AllAtOnce]

AllAtOnce - I really understand where you are coming from... however I am on the male side of the whole in...

I didnt know that there are men who struggle with this too. Its extremely comforting to know that women arent the only ones who view intimacy as being a personal thing that shouldn't be treated non-challantly. Thank you for sharing.