Last week my uncle committed suicide. This is the fifth person to commit suicide that I was close to. Last year was my brother (best friend). I am still grieving over him. I see his mother all of the time. We have been close for over 10 years. My uncles death didn't hit me until the funeral and I started having flashbacks of being at my brothers funeral. My trauma happened 6 months before his death. Which made it worse. Yesterday I was a complete mess. Hyper vigilant, high anxiety, crying at the drop of a hat, I felt like I was in a manic state. I don't think I am over losing my brother. I feel awful because I don't feel like I was affected by the loss of my uncle. I was numb when I found out how he died. I didn't cry. I didn't grieve. I just shook my head. All I could think about was my brother and my uncles daughter. She lost her mother back in 2004. Her mother was in a head on collision with a 18 wheeler.
Ugh... I feel like I am surrounded by death. I've lost so many people tragically and unexpectedly. Suicide, freak accidents, cancer. I feel like I am always waiting for the next one. Who's it going to be? How is it going to happen?
I am so thankful for this forum. I have not had therapy in a month due to T being sick and getting married and the holidays. If it were not for all of you wonderful people, I don't think I would have made it without yall. I have therapy tomorrow thank the Lord. Now I am weeping like a baby. I must have needed to get that out.
Ugh... I feel like I am surrounded by death. I've lost so many people tragically and unexpectedly. Suicide, freak accidents, cancer. I feel like I am always waiting for the next one. Who's it going to be? How is it going to happen?
I am so thankful for this forum. I have not had therapy in a month due to T being sick and getting married and the holidays. If it were not for all of you wonderful people, I don't think I would have made it without yall. I have therapy tomorrow thank the Lord. Now I am weeping like a baby. I must have needed to get that out.
