Death Death of Cat

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
I can't throw her meds away. I emptied the bag of Lactated Ringer's and pitched it, but I can't throw the others away. She never got the B12 and she only got some of the pain meds. It's like the meds are just waiting for me to give them to her. That's stupid, right? I mean, if I throw them out, I can't give them to her.

I know. She's gone.

But what if I throw them out and she needs them?

I know. She's gone.
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
I don't know where else to put this, but I need to put it out there because I'm feeling sooo alone right now.

My older, 17yo cat died Saturday night. I wanted to avoid having her put to sleep for complicated reasons I'm not going to go into right now, but she was just so sick all that week (worse from a long struggle with a probably sinus or brain mass) - she was eating very little, was very weak, esp. in her back legs, would lie and stare, almost in a daze.

Saturday night she jumped off the couch and nearly fell because she was so unsteady, peed on the floor, and then just plopped down like she was exhausted. This had happened several times that week and I think I just realized how bad she was. She'd been struggling for a couple of weeks, on meds and fluids, seeing the vet every week. My vet was closed Saturday, but the emergency vet was open (I take my other cat to an internist there for her chemo) and so I took her there.

They were really good with her and with me and it was a very peaceful passing. I held her before, during, and after. And I made arrangements for a local organization that makes final arrangements for pets to pick her up.

Her absence creates this immense emptiness in my heart and my home. My other cat is here and very engaged with me, but I just feel so sad and lost.

That's so hard. I am sorry.

I had to have my 12-year-old cat put down last year. He was diabetic and on insulin but he wound up having heart failure in the middle of the night. He'd been sickly since he was a baby with inflammatory bowel syndrome, as well.

A year later, I can say I have a lot more peace with his passing. He was a good kid and I miss him. The pain just isn't as sharp now. I know it's overused, but I am glad he isn't suffering anymore.

Peace comes with time. From here to there is hard and trying not to add to the problems is always the hardest part for me while experiencing grief. I get the feeling I want to make major life changes and these tend to not turn out well. If you can avoid giving into the temptation of doing big outward stuff to heal the inner wounds, you might be a lot better off. I can't say that for sure because I don't think I've ever done it, personally, but I've heard it and believe it.

Take care of yourself.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
If you can avoid giving into the temptation of doing big outward stuff to heal the inner wounds, you might be a lot better off.

Thank you, @RussellSue. I'm doing ok. Spending a lot of time just taking things as they come - sitting and lying with my other cat a lot; she loves that and I do, too!

Today - this afternoon - was hard, only because a couple of people were incredibly kind to me. My neighbors upstairs - a couple of guys who have a cute, shy chihuahua - sent me a beautiful figure of an angel holding a cat. I cried and cried. Then, someone I don't even know painted me a picture of my girl.

Sometimes, I am amazed at how caring some people can be.
 
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