DID Debating does this sound like did or?

[StarParker]

I'm debating, Sorry i'm new to this website so I'm not sure what it helps with it exactly. And sorry if this is confusing to read because I'm trying to write as much as possible without writing a novel.

I doubt if I get a responce but anything will be greatly helpful :)

I'll try to keep this short as possible

I've been around on all sorts of websites I've been on Depersonlization and Derelization websites and also Dissociative Identy Disorder Websites (pardon my typos.)
Schizopherina

I can't seem to find an answer I'm seeing someone soon and hopefully another doctor for my sleep apena.

Anyway the thing is I believe something happen to me as a child to cause all of this dissocation. 24/7 I am in a Depersonalized and Derealized state. I can't focus I can think...it's like my eyes are bleeding color, things don't make sense I can hardly understand what people say it's l strange but I've lived with it for years now. The only time I ever felt real was back when I was 16...I felt great I was working out and getting out and I never felt so connected to the world sure my depersonalization and derealization was still there but it wasn't as bad

I still work out but it's bad again...I believe that I have DID, (multiple personality disorder.)

Since I was young I've always had this voice in my head, the voice sounds like me but its much bossier and threatens me even in my dreams.

When I search for people hearing voices it usually never sounds like their own...

People with DID can Have one alter I believe.

The reason I believe I have DID is because sometimes certain people say I did or said things that I do not recall...My family says that I traveled places with them and I don't remember.

I used to have all these strange numbers on my phone

It seems to only happen at night time...I'm thinking it may be sleep walking?

I think it could be sleep walking because one night I remember walking down the hall and the voice in my head that sounds like but isn't kept telling me to walk forward and just a bit further.

And grab my phone (I don't keep my phone in my room nor my computer because people said I sent them strange text/facebook messages which is another story.) I keep it in my roommates room instead she doesn't mine.

When I tell people think most of the times they roll their eyes and say that I'm making this up that nothing is wrong with me.

But I believe there is

I'm going to stop right there because I already wrote too much and i'm not sure about this website yet...

Any answers...uh thanks..

 

[Powder]

DID is not noticeable to others. It's not as dramatic as some media would have you believe. It is difficult to diagnose, and few psychiatrists are qualified to recognize or treat dissociative disorders. This is a "new" area for science, and it's hard to study dissociative states, which can co-exist with other disorders.

DID is more severe, chronic trauma before age 7 than regular PTSD, which can be single-trauma, adult onset or earlier.

I hope you focus on safety, making yourself be and feel more safe, at all times. Safety is social, emotional, and physical. Having good support is key.

Talk to a school counselor, and only go to the best therapists who you personally like. If you don't like them, don't go.

Welcome, and sorry I can't be more helpful today. I've been ill, so on cold and cough meds, I'm not good for much.

But, I have a Chronic PTSD diagnosis (that I got back in 1997, when I was 20). I'm 38 now, and since I've researched MPD/DID, I believe that I have it.

I switch into traumatized child alters, angry/fight alter, and teenage alters, even baby alters. When this happens, they are gasping, crying and I feel their literal physical pain.

I had to ice pack my eye, which felt like it had just been punched and broken, and I was hiding in my closet (hiding from my parents). The actual pain was very real. Ice helped.

I've had times when I switch and get brain fuzz and a dull, deep headache. Sometimes, I can't talk or move. Sometimes, I become "play dead" like an alter "shuts me down" like a computer on sleep mode. I can hear and think (a little) , but can't operate the machinery. [Just typing this, I almost fainted.] I hold my breath without noticing. I instantly Black out after an intense run or if afraid.

An objective, caring observer can see my dissociation clearly. Most people do not want to see it, or blame the victim. They'd rather think the survivor is "making it up" rather than believe that children can be abused and the resulting adult has to live like this forever. They don't want to believe that because it's sad and it's a mystery.

Thinking, especially acute observation, takes effort, and most of the population is not willing to do the work that is required to be a systematic, accurate observer.

Perhaps you will find a kind, observant person to befriend. Such people can be quite helpful in seeing things about oneself in general. Such relationships are the only way to healing and self-discovery. Therapy is one hour per week. At that price and rate, it will take years.

A true friend is the most challenging and rewarding means to self-knowledge, along with study/reading/listening.

Good luck. And try to use punctuation. You need to write in sentences and paragraphs for us here. PTSD makes focusing difficult.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Finding a therapist who specializes in dissociative disorders or PTSD is your best bet. DID is not like they portray it in movies or TV.

Regarding voices in your head, it can sound like you because it is you. Perhaps a different part of you that splintered off but its you.

Mental health has a lot of stigma attached to it. IMHO dissociative orders have the worst stigma. That's just me though.

I agree with Muse, you will need other support besides your therapist. First you absolutely need a therapist that you trust.
Trying to figure this out on your own or with anyone besides a therapist who specializes in PTSD & DD can re-traumatize you.
I had it happen to me and it kept me in denial for 35 more years. Once you do have a therapist and some kind of diagnosis to start with you can look for support groups. Online, like this one where there are those who understand what you are going through and won't judge. There are also support groups where people gather regularly. Just do a search with the type of group you are looking for and your zip code.
There are some great books with some great exercises but again they are not meant to do without specially trained support.

I wish you great success in your healing.

 

[Intrepid]

It's tricky. I've talked to my last 2 therapists about it and have gotten some understanding of my situation. I don't like the idea of DID, as I want to have control, and as far as I'm concerned DID means I'm not in control. It's an embarrassing and stupid problem. I'd love to call my situation something else.

I can't say for sure if what you are describing is DID or something else. There's a lot of co-morbidity with DID, as there is with PTSD. There are a lot of symptoms that are common to other mental illnesses.

If you get a therapist and play an active part in your recovery, then you will, in time, find the answer to your question.

Oh, and welcome to the forum.

 

[joeylittle]

The only time I ever felt real was back when I was 16...I felt great I was working out and getting out and I never felt so connected to the world sure my depersonalization and derealization was still there but it wasn't as bad

It's great that you will be seeing a mental-health professional soon. I would suggest that you trust your gut, make sure you feel comfortable with them. There are a good handful of things that could be going on with you, and none of them are easy to diagnose properly. Working slowly with a good psychologist or psychiatrist should get you to a place where the puzzle pieces start to make sense.

Because you mention the last time you felt right being when you were 16, you will definitely be evaluated for the forms of schizophrenia; late teens is the most typical time for those disorders to present themselves. But the timing of both past traumatic events and later stressors that can trigger PTSD - factoring those things in is very important as well.

Before your intake appointment, I'd suggest making a rough timeline, written out - nothing so deep as to be too upsetting, but just enough so that you feel organized about it. It will help you communicate with the therapist.

 

[Ronin]

Hi,
There's a number of dissociative disorders, as well as disorders in which dissociation has significant role and you really better get evaluated for this by a specialist; if you can be referred to someone with background in trauma and dissociation specifically, that could be yet more helpful to your case.

That consciousness changes seem to happen only in nighttime that you're more aware of, and you're having difficulty with sleep rhythm like that strikes me as fairly alarming to be honest. It's not D.I.D. typical, either. The changes with D.I.D. aren't limited to one time of the day, only, even with different personalities having different preferences and circadian rhythms, it's still not what you're describing. Wondering if you can get yourself evaluated by a sleep specialist for that?

Disagreeing with earliest post on not-noticeability of D.I.D by others. Some may be, some may be not. Sometimes D.I.D. is noticeable only during some times of a person's life, and also it depends greatly on how skilled an observer is the observing person.

Hope you can get the help you need, in every case. Keeping you in thoughts.

 

[StarParker]

Hi,
There's a number of dissociative disorders, as well as disorders in which dissociation has significant...

Thanks to everyone for replying I didn't think I would get this many
I was going to say in my post but forgot to mention because I sounds kind of strange
The best way I can describe the voice in my head is like that Lifetime Movie Queen Size
But I do not see her and she isn't a family member she is me

Uh anyway thank you all.