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defending myself

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samanthavad

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why do I always feel the need to justify/defend myself for having sleep problems, memory problems, anxiety..? why I do things that I do and stuff like that. I feel like im constantly having to make excuses for myself and its tiring. people say "it's okay to not be okay"
... okay then why do you make me feel bad about it?!?!
 
I find the same issues with 'everyone.' Most people don't understand and it feels like they never will. That's why I don't tell people about my PTSD and that I go to therapy. People are sympathetic when I say my ex is stalking me and that he was abusive. If I say I have anxiety, depression, I'm triggered by something, etc, they freak out, look at me like I'm nuts and make me feel embarrassed. If I need to take a day off work because of it, I have to tell my boss that I'm physically sick- I ate something and my stomach is revolting, I have a cold, etc. I've given up trying to communicate about this, especially at work.
 
I think one of the worst aspects of (C)PTSD is the judgment of others, who don’t see the invisible injury and put it all down to poor character

Sometimes it’s downright crushing to have to deal with the symptoms themselves, plus the losses, and then the criticism on top of it all

There was a scene (now a meme) from the recent-ish movie, Joker, where the joker guy wrote in his journal that he shared with his therapist: “The worst part of having a mental illness is that everyone expects you to behave as if you don’t”

Not being understood is a major part of this malady, in my experience. I’m pretty much a hermit now. It’s easier that way
 
I think one of the worst aspects of (C)PTSD is the judgment of others, who don’t see the invisible injury and put it all down to poor character

Sometimes it’s downright crushing to have to deal with the symptoms themselves, plus the losses, and then the criticism on top of it all

There was a scene (now a meme) from the recent-ish movie, Joker, where the joker guy wrote in his journal that he shared with his therapist: “The worst part of having a mental illness is that everyone expects you to behave as if you don’t”

Not being understood is a major part of this malady, in my experience. I’m pretty much a hermit now. It’s easier that way
I am too but I get shit from my family for it all the time. my mom says that I dont wanna be part of the family because I never come over.
 
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