ScruffMcBuff
New Here
So, Im often told to surround my self in my "normal" Environment.
So let me tell you what the person before PTSD saw as normal.
I would wake up kiss my fiancée on the forehead so as not to wake her, go to my daughter room and do the same and just take a moment to remind my self that my two girls are the reason I do this.
I'm at the airport by 0300hrs and im met by my ops manager and my opposite numbers, we shake hands bump a few fists then go through customs.
We land in another country where we are met by a convoy of trucks, we arrive at a destination. I put my Bullet proof vest on, my webbing, my shoulder holster and thread my rifle sling through my webbing. i count my ammunition and index the magazines in my front pouch, I check my rifle is functioning, i check my pistol is functioning, then i champed a round in both, flick the safety on. Then we sit down for a briefing and we meet our principal whom we shall be protecting. he leaves the room and we get our self's pumped up and ready to go. we have our route planned, we have our sights zeroed and more importantly our adrenaline is pumping so fast our pupils are the size of saucers, so here we go. we leave the compound and we start on our route.
For me that is normal that has been my life for 8 long years. and now I'm sat at my sisters house because my fiancée got bored of waiting. I've lost my family. I've lost my job. So what's normal for me is gone. my life has gone. what does a man do in this situation. I try to stay positive but everything I know is gone.
Suicide?? Well I've tried that but you will be surprised how much a 19 stone man can take and be revived!
Has any one else had this, or am I just coming across insane???
So let me tell you what the person before PTSD saw as normal.
I would wake up kiss my fiancée on the forehead so as not to wake her, go to my daughter room and do the same and just take a moment to remind my self that my two girls are the reason I do this.
I'm at the airport by 0300hrs and im met by my ops manager and my opposite numbers, we shake hands bump a few fists then go through customs.
We land in another country where we are met by a convoy of trucks, we arrive at a destination. I put my Bullet proof vest on, my webbing, my shoulder holster and thread my rifle sling through my webbing. i count my ammunition and index the magazines in my front pouch, I check my rifle is functioning, i check my pistol is functioning, then i champed a round in both, flick the safety on. Then we sit down for a briefing and we meet our principal whom we shall be protecting. he leaves the room and we get our self's pumped up and ready to go. we have our route planned, we have our sights zeroed and more importantly our adrenaline is pumping so fast our pupils are the size of saucers, so here we go. we leave the compound and we start on our route.
For me that is normal that has been my life for 8 long years. and now I'm sat at my sisters house because my fiancée got bored of waiting. I've lost my family. I've lost my job. So what's normal for me is gone. my life has gone. what does a man do in this situation. I try to stay positive but everything I know is gone.
Suicide?? Well I've tried that but you will be surprised how much a 19 stone man can take and be revived!
Has any one else had this, or am I just coming across insane???
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