General Deployment - I Am Stressed

[Kathy]

My son is deploying OS very shortly, and today we are saying good-bye to him, as he is going to spend the remainder of his time before deployment with his unit.

Being a military wife for many years, I am quite "seasoned" when it comes to the cycle of deployment. I cannot count the number of times Jim has been deployed prior to his retirement. Additionally I have other sons in the military who have been deployed more than once. Usually I take it in stride. However this time I seem to not be handling it well. I suspect it is because of my son Brian, who died as an indirect result of his combat PTSD. I am dealing with my issues surrounding Brian's death currently. I feel as though I simply cannot face another death, or the prospect of another person with PTSD in our family.

Additionally, it's been quite a well since I've seen such a young family member deployed. Colin is barely 20. Technically a man, however a boy still in many respects. He is very excited, this is his first time OS. He has no idea what he is getting himself into, and my heart aches for him. He is going to grow up extremely fast.

I haven't any idea what else to say, perhaps I simply needed to vent my feelings a bit. Frankly, I am not looking forward to the next few months. I am frightened.

 

[pandora]

I am really sorry you are having such a hard time right now...I am not sure what to say other than i know you and your family are very strong and you will get through this together.

 

[jolene]

Kathy, I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time with your son's deployment. I don't know what you're going through as I do not have children in the military but I believe it must be harder on a mother than anyone else to send her son away. I'll be sure to keep him, as well as you and your family, in my prayers.

 

[batgirl]

I'm also having a hard time with this. I'm trying to stay positive about it, Dad gave me a pep talk and all, but I'm really scared for Colin too.

 

[Nicolette]

I feel for you all :Hug_emoticon:

 

[Jen]

We can stress together on this one Kathy! I said goodbye to my boy physically a couple of weeks ago he flies out about the 5th Feb.
He is still here in Aus doing training for the next couple of weeks.
But I wont be seeing him anymore before he goes.
I was a typical bawling Mum at the airport.
:kiss:To both the boys!

 

[mouse]

Kathy, Jim, Evie,
This is a hard time and I wish you all the best I can see your concern Kathy, and nothing I can say will make you feel better other than we are thinking of you , your family and Colin, soon I will be saying good by to some very dear friends as the ship out in Feb. I know you are all very close to each other and I hope that helps during this time. My thoughts and Prayers with you, as they are with you Jen.

 

[grace5555]

Kathy :Hug_emoticon:

 

[grace5555]

Evie :Hug_emoticon:

 

[Kathy]

Thank you all. Jen and Mouse, I believe they are probably all leaving around the same time or close together. Colin has physically left us today however like your son Jen, he is remaining with his unit for a time before the actual deployment. We will not see him again until his return however. It is difficult however also good to know there are others with friends and family deploying, so we are not alone.

I was a typical bawling Mum at the airport.
:kiss:To both the boys!

Yes kisses to your son as well Jen and I was also the bawling mum this morning!

 

[anthony]

Kathy, I can absolutely understand what your saying, and the best thing is... your feeling and expressing what you feel. I agree with you, that Colin is going to growup extremely fast from this. He will be a different person when he comes home, we all know that from military backgrounds / family. Nothing I say will lessen your concern Kathy, though all I can say to prevent further complications with PTSD is to not let Colin get away with not talking about his emotions, what he feels surrounding any events he is involved or witnesses during deployment and so forth. It is off absolute importance that the family not allow him to get away with it, as you all have plenty of experience what occurs when a person lives in trauma, witnesses trauma, and may have a part in trauma, and not speak about what they feel afterwards.

Your a mum.... your supposed to be concerned, your supposed to be worried, your supposed to have sleepless nights when something like this happens. Just accept and recognise what is normal for you as a mother compared to anything irregular. Your doing just fine Kathy and I am glad Evie piped up and agreed she felt the same, as I knew she did. No doubt Jim has some feelings surrounding it, though his will be different due to his background.

Keep talking, keep venting, and glad your doing it already Kathy. Well done.

 

[Kathy]

Thank you Anthony, we will certainly keep talking amongst ourselves, here upon the forum, and also to Colin, as much as we are able. With the advent of the internet we will have a great deal of contact with him. I am determined that nothing happen to him, in the way of PTSD that is. Physically speaking we cannot help him, however all of us in the family have made a commitment to his mental health, for now and for when he returns. Thank you for confirming our decision is correct.

The situation has turned out to be far more difficult than we imagined. Evie was worrying over it for several days before Colin departed, however Jim and I were feeling quite smug about it, telling ourselves we have handled deployment so often before. Up until this morning that is. Seeing Colin off at the base was incredibly painful, it then hit us I suppose, the reality of it. I won't speak for Jim as I don't wish to embarrass him, however Evie and I have both cried many tears off and on all day long. Jacob has been very out of sorts as well. Dinner was a silent affair, which is unusual for us. Evie then mentioned how sorry she felt for Colin, for the rude awakening he was going to have, and what he was going to see, being in a war zone. At that we all resumed crying.

At this point I am mentally exhausted.