Difficulty using language to explain things I know

[Keen]

I have difficulty repeating back instructions despite understanding them and being able to behaviorally do them/follow them. The trouble is just in using language to explain what I know and understand in my head. So I can do what I'm asked to do, but can't explain to another person what the instructions were.

Here's an example: my boss describes to me how to work a new machine. He asks me to repeat the instructions back to him so he knows I understood. I can't repeat the instructions back, but I can show him I understood by running the machine the way he explained.

So the issue isn't with hearing or with understanding, its with my own use of language to explain something I know.

Does this sound like anything anyone is familiar with?

 

[grit]

One of the ways I learned how adaptive dissassoiction is it blunts learning...at least from my own experience.
It looks like you are functional enough to do the job but you are not fully present. Learning a new thing can be threatening if you have in unprocessed cptsd.
I always took notes whenever I am talking to my manager....and sometimes never understood what I wrote.
Now I do not dissociate as often but one telling is I see getting slow at things I know I can do and even I am good at.

It is quite adaptive and that masks it's damage.

I want to add dissassoiction affects very strong on the right hemisphere so language is quite impaired for that reason and your logic is not....

Hope that makes sense.

 

[siniang]

It looks like you are functional enough to do the job but you are not fully present. Learning a new thing can be threatening if you have in unprocessed cptsd.
I always took notes whenever I am talking to my manager....and sometimes never understood what I wrote.

I think you misunderstood @Keen

Keen very well understands the instructions -- but is just unable to put them into words that other people understand, in return.

Because we - unfortunately - still have the common notion that one has truly understood something, a fact, a concept, ... when he/she is able to explain it to someone else. Very common in science, too.

And I too struggle with this. I don't think for me this is necessarily PTSD-related, though. More just how my mind works. I'm generally having a very hard time putting things in words that are just plain obvious to me.

Not everything people struggle with is dissociation. Or PTSD. But I obviously don't know or can speak for @Keen , just sharing my personal two cents and experience.

ETA: @Keen are you able to plain old memorize the instructions and repeat them back verbatim and only struggle with putting them in your own words?

 

[grit]

Your points and experience are valid @siniang.

I am speaking from my own experience and I know when I was dissassoiated due to my cPTSD and when I am integrated and the difference.
I did not become someone else.i just realized what spaced out, unspontenty, and unmindful way of living was all about. I am sharing that with keen so she can relate or think like you and voice for herself.

It is a huge spectrum we all have so just sharing stories.

 

[Keen]

Thanks for your thoughts, @grit , you could be right and this could be related to the PTSD and dissociation in some way.

 

[Keen]

are you able to plain old memorize the instructions and repeat them back verbatim and only struggle with putting them in your own words?

Yes, I am really good at memorization, I do awesome on tests and exams. But it is all about putting things into my own words. Its like once the info is in my brain, its in my memory so I can personally use it but the info can't go to the language areas of my brain so I can't explain them back or to someone else. Wondering if there is some kind of learning disorder or processing disorder.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I've been doing some reading on the inability to put words together and mixing up words when trying to express myself. It seems it might be a variety of aphasia. I tend to think mine is from a lack of sleep, malnutrition, anxiety and stress. I don't know if this is what you have going on, but maybe do an Internet search and see what you think.

 

[Rleathen]

The question is can you put together words in the way that you want them to be in your head...in other words can your inner dialog voice construct the sentences as you think they need to be constructed. C-PTSD has a way of messing with the parts of the brain responsible for language (I believe I read that in the book The Body Keeps The Score) which is why for so many with PTSD and C-PTSD it is difficult to accurately describe our trauma's and to some extent describe what we are feeling (this may be related to emotional disregulation and the inability to label emotions/feelings that you are having) but still C-PTSD does effect language.

 

[Keen]

I've been doing some reading on the inability to put words together and mixing up words when trying to express myself. It seems it might be a variety of aphasia. I tend to think mine is from a lack of sleep, malnutrition, anxiety and stress. I don't know if this is what you have going on, but maybe do an Internet search and see what you think.

Thanks, I have never heard of that, I'll look it up!

The question is can you put together words in the way that you want them to be in your head...in other words can your inner dialog voice construct the sentences as you think they need to be constructed. C-PTSD has a way of messing with the parts of the brain responsible for language (I believe I read that in the book The Body Keeps The Score) which is why for so many with PTSD and C-PTSD it is difficult to accurately describe our trauma's and to some extent describe what we are feeling (this may be related to emotional disregulation and the inability to label emotions/feelings that you are having) but still C-PTSD does effect language.

Now that you mention it, I remember that from that book. So maybe this is a trauma-related problem. No, I can't really put them together in my head either. Its like I can understand things, so I can take in the information fine, but I can't put them into my own words or explain them to other people.

 

[VioletButterfly]

Hi @Keen - I looked around again for you and wanted to note that the "affect" of not being able to put things thoughts together and verbalize them is like aphasia; however, true aphasia necessitates trauma to the brain like TBI, stroke, a degenerative disease like dementia, etc...

A lot of what I looked at in trying to understand what I have going on indicated that trauma can/does affect the prefrontal cortex and working memory, producing learning and linguistic issues such as what we seem to be experiencing in our own ways. Trauma can/does affect other areas of the brain as well and can produce other problems.

I think I might have misdirected you earlier, so wanted to follow-up with a little more detail. I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I find it very distressing and problematic as I am trying to apply for jobs. I can only imagine how you are trying to manage this in the workplace.

 

[Keen]

Thanks for your research @VioletButterfly . It is definitely a challenge and one I've always had but am only now realizing its not something other people deal with.

 

[Ronin]

@Keen and can you describe what you're doing just using different words?

Ie is it a language as a whole thing, or a very specific phrasing required, thing?

Two workarounds coming to mind: if you just need different words, say how you would say it, not how the trainer person had it.

If you got none words at all, break what you do into steps, pause with each, describe what you are doing, and once you have a shared language for the activity, pass it on.