@Smile Rereading this thread and had different thoughts today, maybe helpful.
I had skirted with applying for disability 10 years ago, people were recommending it to me, and I refused, thought it is a slippery slope, a trap, no one gets off disability once on it, things like this. I ended up unemployed for a good while and then working for pretty low wages doing carpentry, went to school for a semester, and eventually found myself more gainfully employed again. In 2013 when new traumas hit, I knew I couldn't work immediately. After a year I realized maybe "immediately" might be a long time. So I applied, and all told it took me over a year to get approved for SSDI. I still feel I can't work, certainly not in the career I just lost, which was extremely demanding and high stress. Disability is possible to live on but (speaking only for me, I know the reality varies) it is scary to think it could be permanent, as it is fairly impoverished. I had saved like a madman while working so have added cushion, but not permanently. I *do* sometimes feel in a trap that I have less motivation to try getting back to work. However, for me, having the ability to focus on a lot of healing and really doing some inner work, learning about PTSD, this is the trade-off. If I were working at my old career, I'd be a stress monster and would have no energy to do this work. Maybe in time I can take more of a "recovery job" for minimum wage, but for me now even that is scary.
All just my story, but maybe helpful. I am glad I ended up swallowing pride and getting some income, it has allowed breathing room. If it's permanent or very long-term, then it is. The things I can't afford anymore don't turn out to be so bad, as it forces me to seek real things and do real "work".
Also my therapists back in 2013 then were opposed to my getting on disability, though in retrospect they really didn't have many patients who were on it. Current docs are more familiar with it and have a more informed opinion.
Hope any of this may help you in thinking about the options. One last thing, it can't hurt to apply and get the process rolling. It will take a while, minimally a few months, commonly over a year. Advocacy agencies speed it up on average and decrease the chances of getting rejected and having to appeal. Having providers that are on board and will advocate is *essential*.
