• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

ED Disordered eating

Status
Not open for further replies.
Congratulations @Living in the 70s. Dancing with you. It is seriously brilliant to be able to make such great progress towards health for yourself whilst managing all that you are. :hug::hug:

I had a small win in terms of being able to eat fairly freely and with healthy restraint (as in I didn't feel restricted) these last few days. I am in touch with my body enough on a regular basis to listen and recognize when what I am eating is not making it feel great. I am experimenting and allowing myself to be flexible. The last two nights dinner hasn't sat particularly well for me, but it's okay and I'll make small adjustments for tomorrow. I feel my body and mind deserves to be well taken care of, and that is a great success. Healing is so hard. Breakfast has been fantastic.
 
Congratulations @Living in the 70s. Dancing with you. It is seriously brilliant to be able to make such great progress towards health for yourself whilst managing all that you are. :hug::hug:
I am focussing on moving forward and starting to consolidating my gains in new skills. It is taking awhile. Thanks for your acknowledgement. I am so busy working on things that I sometimes forget to notice the improvements!

I had a small win in terms of being able to eat fairly freely and with healthy restraint (as in I didn't feel restricted) these last few days.
This is great. These are the gains that enable long term health.

I am in touch with my body enough on a regular basis to listen and recognize when what I am eating is not making it feel great.
This is awesome. I am really looking forward to arriving there. I am doing a fair bit better than I used to.


I am experimenting and allowing myself to be flexible.
That is really good as life ebbs and flows, and things change all the time, so flexibility is really important.

The last two nights dinner hasn't sat particularly well for me, but it's okay and I'll make small adjustments for tomorrow.
It really is great to be able to adjust with incremental changes!

I feel my body and mind deserves to be well taken care of, and that is a great success.
That is a huge success. It is a huge shift!

Healing is so hard.
It really is!

Breakfast has been fantastic.
I love a fantastic breakfast. It carries me through the day!
 
I had vegetable soup for breakfast this morning. It was healthy and tasty.

After 4 months of working on my disordered eating I have made significant inroads. I am emotionally regulating more. I have also lost ten kilos, so there are health benefits with that.

I am finding that self compassion practices are assisting me a lot, they are challenging to do, but doing them is most necessary for progress! I am chipping away at my corrosive self doubt.
 
Thanks @mumstheword! I am changing very gradually but it is happening!

I did a little bit of comfort eating last night - not the best - but not the worst - I am gradually improving. Each day I am a little bit better, and when you think about it, four months is not bad to lose 10 kilos, and totally change my relationship with food. I still have a long way to go, but I have definitely improved out of sight.
 
Last edited:
I am reviewing some of the self compassion literature, and I think that to crack the disordered eating I will have to develop a very strong daily self compassion practice. It is really interesting. I have been looking at research, practices and meditations that I haven't looked at before, as well as going over some of the other self compassion stuff I have been using for awhile.
 
Last edited:
I did a bit of comfort eating last night, not the best, not the worst, still overall improvement.

I am looking into Self Compassion more, if I can do this as a daily practice, on and off during the day I think that can assist me in emotionally regulating, and not feeling a desparate need to comfort with food. So I am looking at resources more, and I am going to do some Self Compassion each day: either

1) Self Compassion Breaks
https://chrisgermer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Self-Compassion-Break-13-min.mp3 or http://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/self-compassion.break_.mp3
2) listening to Self Compassion talks of Kristin Neff, Chris Germer
3) learning more about Self Compassion What is Self-Compassion? - CMSC
4) doing Self Compassion meditations (there are a stack of free ones available on Kristin's and Chris' websites and all over the Internet).
5) Borrow books on Self Compassion from the library and read them.
6) I printed out Tips for practice - Self-Compassion to carry around with me so if I get bounceback or reactivity I can remind myself.
 
Last edited:
So after typing this out I had a dissociative and maladaptive daydreaming moment. It is what it is!

I countered with some disco dancing, and accepting that when I try to do Self Compassion a lot of other stuff comes up.

I will have a bath now. Yesterday I had a bath and actually relaxed, and it was really confronting. I felt scared. I just wanted to shut down and hide from the world but I still went to the meditation last night.
 
I really, really, really struggled with my eating yesterday. Sticking to regular portion sizes is really hard when Ifeel so vulnerable and exposed. I am such a shy person under it all, but I have a big front.

I did stay within my weight watchers points, and I didn't put on a stack of weight, so that is good. It was just hard holding on so much.

I went to meditation from 8am in the morning until about 2.30pm in the afternoon, so it was a big day, and too much sitting and my hip was not so good in the end.

Occasionally I am droppoing out of hypervigilance and I feel exhausted, so that is a big change for me.
 
Last edited:
I had a minor surgery this morning and I ate too much at lunchtime and just before lunchtime and tonight for dinner. The local anaesthetic had more of an effect on me than I thought it would.
 
I hope you can recover quickly from the surgery. That would throw a wrench in working on issues for sure. I think times of vulnerability naturally trigger a desire to reach back to familiar comforts and old patterns. I am hoping you are able to sidestep the destructive guilt and disappointment.

With time you will stop turning to food for comfort, the more and more you believe you can be with the feelings (big and small) and let them be a part of your life. Hugs and support. Standing with you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top