Dissociating After Emdr?

[katiekat]

Had my first EMDR session Tuesday and I'm not sure what I was to expect after, but I have a feeling I'm dissociation. Right after the session as I was driving home I felt a bit light headed and spacy, sort of like I had just woken up from a nap. I'm not sure if it was from EMDR or because as I was driving the daylight quickly faded making me feel like things were a bit off.

Then Wednesday and yesterday I was totally freaking out. I had the same light headed detatched feeling but worse, and I had unusual body sensations. I felt like my body was swirling around inside my stomach, legs, and back. I'm not sure how to describe it other than it was like I was on mushrooms. I couldn't concentrate at work and going felt distant. Last night I broke down and told my fiance that I felt crazy and paranoid. I was scared and exhausted. I became a bit weepy but had to hide it because my son was around. I decided to take a shower to try to get my mind off these body sensations. As I stood there I had a disturbing thought go through my mind. I suddenly understood why and how some people self-harm...to distract them from feeling whatever is bothering them. I'm pretty sure I won't self-harm, but my previous therapist told me once that he was surprised that im not a cutter and to be aware that SI can creep up on me.

Has anyone else had something similar happen after EMDR?

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

You've just described exactly how I felt after my emdr session, I hated the feelings after to the point I refused to attend the sessions , however with gentle persuasion from my other half I continued the sessions , they def were worse to start with but then got better . Long journey, very hard, emotional and tiring, frightening and daunting , but well worth it. Hang in there and good luck

 

[katiekat]

Seriously? I have been so scared and paranoid that something is wrong with me or im sick or something because of the sensations in my body. I am not really a hypochondriac, and this was completely not something I've ever experienced. I'm afraid to tell my therapist because she will think im really nuts.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Katiekat, I know exactly what you mean! EMDR is very intensive. In a way it's reprogramming of your brain and that can have quite an impact on you for at least a few days. After a session I get more paranoid and tired, too. And I dissociate more. I also get the hypochondria thing and I used to think I was losing my mind. I think it's the "sense of impending doom" that many of us get, which can for example manifest itself in such a way that you get paranoid about your health.
It's still PTSD talking, though. You are not crazy.

The way I see it, trauma has hurt us so badly that everyone and everything is a potential threat. You no longer trust your environment or even your own judgement. And if you can't figure out why you're so afraid all the time you start looking for reasons for that fear. Like a scary ill ess for example.. it's extremely tiring and unhealthy. But it's not crazy. And eventually, with the right help and a lot of practice, it will get better.

Try to rationalise when you're feeling panicky like that again. What are you really afraid if? How likely is it for that to happen? What other possible outcomes could the situation have? Look up statistics if you need to.

Hope this helps

 

[katiekat]

I should have mentioned that the target for my EMDR session was not trauma-it was about something my boss does that makes me feel uncomfortable-ill be talking to her and when I'm done I wait for her to respond but she just stares and it makes me feel uncomfortable and judged. I'm sure my therapist wanted to do something mild for the first session, but I am having a hard time finding the connection between that subject and my body feeling weird. Can anyone explain this?

 

[Intrepid]

Yes, but not in any definitive way. I had the same thing happen in therapy over and over. I don't get to choose what is connected with what. Trauma scrambles everything. Trauma causes not only mental and emotional shock, it causes physical shock, and shock is really hard in the body. Now I'm kind of used to things coming out of left field like that. You are on the right path. The explanations might not be there now, but they will come.

 

[user27357]

you be careful, OK? My Emdr experience was not the best and it was most likely the therapists inexperience but I still feel like I need to warn people. Especially when it sounds like you are going down a similar path. I remember being excited that something was happening and hoping it would be leveraged by my T into something positive. I know it is for many of us and I hope it is for you. But be careful,

If it stalls out and just becomes a rehashing of bad memories without closure consider getting away from it before it just becomes a stack up of bad memories of remembering bad memories like mine did. I would try it again, something there.

 

[katiekat]

I will be careful, thanks for that advice. I am for sure telling my t what the aftermath has been like. She had me try EFT in the 2nd session, but it wasn't working and I told her and she firmly told me that was ok and that we will find a new thing to try and to not worry about it. So, she is definitely not trying to make me do anything I find unhelpful... I can at least trust her a little based on that one experience.

I am just really kind of perturbed that I felt like I didn't fully understand what we were trying to do or what to expect after. I need clarification, and maybe a warning next time that MAYBE things might get a little strange or crazy for a bit. Its so reassuring to hear that I am not the only person having paranoia after EMDR. My fiancé was about to take me to the ER because I was tripping out so bad. Blah! That sucked!

 

[joeylittle]

am just really kind of perturbed that I felt like I didn't fully understand what we were trying to do or what to expect after. I need clarification, and maybe a warning next time that MAYBE things might get a little strange or crazy for a bit.

I'm not so sure your therapist knows what she's doing. It's totally normal to ask a therapist how and when they trained in various treatment modalities. Have you asked her?

 

[katiekat]

She was trained by Francine Shapiro in 1993

 

[joeylittle]

Oh, well, there you go then. It's just kind of strange that you weren't told you could feel wonky after.

 

[katiekat]

Agreed. Oh well. I'm just glad im feeling normal again!