Dissociation Giving Head

[Finchlet2]

Intercourse, nighnty per cent of the time is too pain full and invasive for me to cope with. My husband is very patient with this and i try to give him head every couple of days to stop him getting too frustrated but I blank out a lot. I keep having to stop and have lower tolerance with choking lack of oxygen etc. When we met I would actively encourage him to choke me and we experimented with belts and mild asphyxiation but now even that doesn't make sex feel ok. I want to feel connected to him but I'm too busy running operation personal space with military precision.

 

[7Cs]

Intercourse, nighnty per cent of the time is too pain full and invasive for me to cope with. My husban...

I'm not sure that what you're describing is dissociation.

I would have to say though that if you have had trauma related to sexual abuse that bdsm (choking/ asphyxiation/ breath play) may be retraumatizing to you.

 

[Deleted member 38242]

I understand. One I was giving my boyfriend a bj, and went numb then started thinking about becoming a nun. I caught myself, and almost laughed. I don't have issues anymore with that, but it took therapy, and "self love" to get over. Basically I masterbated away the past, and thought about a lot of stuff to own my sex again. I made it a point not to let the past own my body. My damage is still there, but I know how to use a feeling, or emotion to climax. I don't need extrems to feel my body now. I feel it to much. Its my body and my orgasim. BDSM is way to much, and hurts. Maybe dominating myself alone helped?