Dissociation......how do you come back and focus?

[tacit]

Thought i might just add, in case of interest. Apparently the 5th answer is the significance. I've been told that research shows that it is our 5th answer where we connect with our real truth.
For example ..List the 5 things you most want to achieve in the next 6 months ..or are the most important things in life ..or that i should know about you? etc. To the point that the previous 4 answers are just weeding out what we want people to know or think we should say or just, while true, not that significant. Apparently this is also why the 5th answer tends to be the hardest & takes the longest to come up with.
I found this to be true with dissociating, where after acknowkedging the 1st, 2nd, 3rd & 4th thing, there would be no real change in my state & doubt almost always tended to set in. But low & behold, after searching, trying to find the 5th & then doing so, often with relief ..i would be back.
Might be more info than you wanted, but this understanding helped me ?

 

[Fahrenheit451]

Might be more info than you wanted, but this understanding helped me

No it’s fine. I make sure I fully read everyone’s replies and really reflect on the answers. It’s why I asked the question and why I joined this site. Knowledge is strength.

 

[DharmaGirl]

@tacit, that's some great stuff! I will try personalizing it like that next time.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I also have a mantra, "Ground and center, ground and center" that comes in handy too. Especially when I'm standing and feeling the floor or ground beneath my feet and focusing on being in my body.

This is a very helpful thread, @Fahrenheit451, thank you.

 

[Justmehere]

One way of thinking about dissociation is that it kicks in when other emotions are too strong to experience. To get out of dissociation, I sometimes apply what would help anxiety or other feelings like deep breathing. That sometimes can pull me out of the fog.

Another thing I do is seek safe strong sensations to ground or zap me back in the here and now and out of the fog. Mints, super cold drinks, touching different textures and really noticing them, etc. If I can’t sit and talk with someone, sometimes I’ll ask to go throw a ball outside if. Are an option.

My family knows about my PTSD but I felt embarrassed that I had to keep going outside with the dog so I could get myself centred again. How does everyone else handle this when it happens?

Nothing to be embarrassed about. PTSD is really miserable and you were simply enduring and managing symptoms the best you knew how. I think it’s great you kept trying to connect. I used to have to walk out a lot. Friends were patient. Now I don’t have to do that anymore.

 

[Ronin]

Depends the source.

PTSD dissociation, by reminding myself of goals now, not then. Watching out for more harmless, less danger.

ADHD, by not being bored or overwhelmed, finding something smaller to focus on.

DID dissociation, finding who is out of it and grounding from there.

Grief? Forcing myself to note the happy stuff. Till Im feeling them, again.

Just tired? Sleeping. Also works on all the above if nothing works there.

 

[Mee]

I love the 5 senses technique.

I also use scent or touch alone. Touch : hot drink/ cold touch can be good. Note disassociation and drinks can result in not quite getting the mouth I find, so be wary of this perhaps? I drink hot tea and have a glass of water on me pretty much all day.

Also, I have just accepted a reputation as a daydreamer. It’s a funny alternative for someone hyper vigilant.?

 

[Keen]

Sometimes it helps me to read up on a subject or topic I find interesting that I know other people might as well (something historical, geographical, current event, info about a musical artist), basically to prepare myself with something I can talk about with others so that even if I can't follow their conversations, I can start one and be interacting with others for at least part of the time.

 

[TruthSeeker]

First, I identify why I'm dissociating-the who, where or what....and ususally I can......and then head to the bathroom. Several trips to the bathroom for a mini isolation to have a conversation with myself is my go to.....the bathroom is safe in everyone else's space I know.
I go through the "I am safe" and I do deep breathing....to improve the oxygen going to my brain. Ground with my senses, and if still not idea, and we aren't sitting down to eat, I go get a 25 cal. fruit popsicle and offer to anyone standing around looking at me funny-and usually someone else will go cool, when I hand it to them.

If dinner or guest conversation is the trigger, then that is the ideal time to get a popsicle. Also, peppermints and Altoids can be very grounding for me. I'm not all about Altoids but they are strong.

 

[pamcoco]

I’m not sure I can control it. When I am disassociated, which I call time loss, is when I don’t even know I am gone. It is generally a benign experience for me, not too triggered or reactionary.

Having said this, it is the realization in looking back at my disassociation that has shocked me into admitting the level of trauma and ptsd I live with. My first experience of this shock was about 4 yrs after the assaults. I went to the doctor and in filling out the forms realized I didn’t know the date or my age. Years had slipped through without memory or significant experience.

There is a warmth to disassociation, a familiar safety and rhythm. Now it’s been 10 years and I still lose chunks. In general, in ways I am less present, while at the same time intensely present. I don’t know how to explain this juxtaposed dichotomy. Truth is, understanding it remains just beyond my grasp.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Here are some things I do.

I recite the date. Year included and if I'm struggling I almost always get it wrong.
I recite my full name.
I recite my entire address.
I open my eyes wide and look around the room. Sometimes I'll pick a color and count how many items I see in the room that are that color.
And this one really helps if I'm having a hard time. I look at a very bright light in the room. Even if it means looking directly at a light bulb. I find that it's uncomfortable. Especially when my eyes are trying to just stare. The bright light causes me to have to blink and focus. It kind of helps me to snap out of it.

Some of these can be done without having to leave the room. I usually leave the room though. It makes it a little easier for me to focus on my grounding. And there is no shame in grounding. I think of it like self care. Self care isn't always a cup of hot tea. Sometimes self care is remembering and reminding yourself of the present day to keep yourself right here in the moment.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I’m not sure I can control it. When I am disassociated, which I call time loss, is when I don’t even know I am gone. It is generally a benign experience for me, not too triggered or reactionary.

Having said this, it is the realization in looking back at my disassociation that has shocked me into admitting the level of trauma and ptsd I live with. My first experience of this shock was about 4 yrs after the assaults. I went to the doctor and in filling out the forms realized I didn’t know the date or my age. Years had slipped through without memory or significant experience.

There is a warmth to disassociation, a familiar safety and rhythm. Now it’s been 10 years and I still lose chunks. In general, in ways I am less present, while at the same time intensely present. I don’t know how to explain this juxtaposed dichotomy. Truth is, understanding it remains just beyond my grasp.

I call it Dissociationland. For me, for certain parts, is is a place of sheer comfort....and with my art and photography, a place so very far away from reality that is totally safe.....and my artwork.....in my own opinion, is at it's very best.

How I'm trying to reduce dissociation, and give it controlled times: I learned to give myself breaks....that were purposeful....like an art break. I take art classes in a small group......such a struggle to pair the activity I enjoyed with extra people in the room with their jaws just a flapping. So very annoying and it is irritating to the core. They call it immersion therapy......building a tolerance to being around others and creating......my art is much more shxt in a group.....but after TWO years it is starting to improve and I'm finding ways to accommodate others and myself. I can go to water aerobics and I do, but I don't like exercising around people who think they own the pool space and have no idea where they are in space and are splashing me or bumping me...but that's my issue. I listen to music at home to help being grounded when doing tasks - but I see no hope for grounding 100% of the time......yeah....I'm not there yet. I sometimes like a little, timed, vacation at home.