I've had body memories, mostly quite painful, of my traumas.
So, I was confused to have different sensations with dissociation yesterday.
It began by feeling that overwhelming fatigue and like I must lie down or risk collapsing.
So I lie down, but I heard the ringing and rushing in my ears and didn't feel sleepy. Instead, I just felt weird. I had a headache, and I felt very tense, as I tried to breath and relax.
Suddenly, I felt a flapping sensation over my face, as though being gently fanned or of layers of soft cloth moving over my face, lightly. After that, my upper lip went totally numb, sort of like after going to the dentist. This lasted for about 10 minutes, then passed.
I concluded I must have had a flashback, which like many, were of the time right after the trauma, when body parts that were ravaged were in pain or numb from swelling.
My T says I am having flashbacks to a dissociative episode, so I dissociate prior to the flashback, and then the flashback offers me a double-dose of its own dissociation that it contains.
Normally, there is no trigger, externally, and I am reacting to exhaustion from sleep-deprivation and overwork and illness.
This dissociation didn't fit the previous pattern, in which the flashback was so "bad" that it was obvious to me that I was having one. This time, I had to guess, and treat it with a cold drink of water, which helped.
So, I was confused to have different sensations with dissociation yesterday.
It began by feeling that overwhelming fatigue and like I must lie down or risk collapsing.
So I lie down, but I heard the ringing and rushing in my ears and didn't feel sleepy. Instead, I just felt weird. I had a headache, and I felt very tense, as I tried to breath and relax.
Suddenly, I felt a flapping sensation over my face, as though being gently fanned or of layers of soft cloth moving over my face, lightly. After that, my upper lip went totally numb, sort of like after going to the dentist. This lasted for about 10 minutes, then passed.
I concluded I must have had a flashback, which like many, were of the time right after the trauma, when body parts that were ravaged were in pain or numb from swelling.
My T says I am having flashbacks to a dissociative episode, so I dissociate prior to the flashback, and then the flashback offers me a double-dose of its own dissociation that it contains.
Normally, there is no trigger, externally, and I am reacting to exhaustion from sleep-deprivation and overwork and illness.
This dissociation didn't fit the previous pattern, in which the flashback was so "bad" that it was obvious to me that I was having one. This time, I had to guess, and treat it with a cold drink of water, which helped.
