Do affirmations actually work

[Killashandra]

HI all,

Im wondering if anyone has as much trouble as I am having with positive affirmations to help recover from our trauma.

I am having major issues with the self accepting affirmations and the I'm good enough affirmations. I copied a list from pete walkers book surviving to Thriving, as suggested by him, to read each day to affirm my human rights and affirmations to shut down and minimize the inner critic.

The only affirmation I know to work for me is " it works if you work it and I work it because I'm worth it " an aa saying though I'm not an alcoholic.

But what am in working on?? The inner critic and her distain for me.

Has anyone got any helpful tips?

 

[Zanshin]

If those affirmations do not work for you and speak to you, are there any other things that may? I would think being personality-specific may help?

Based on what you've written, I'd probably start with, "My inner critic is a filthy rotten liar. I am good enough.... I don't suck... I am valuable... " or something similar more specific to my situation. I also handle life with a healthy dose of sarcasm and cynicism, your mileage may vary...

Good luck to you!

 

[Killashandra]

Based on what you've written, I'd probably start with, "My inner critic is a filthy rotten liar. I am good enough.... I don't suck... I am valuable... " or something similar more specific to my situation. I also handle life with a healthy dose of sarcasm and cynicism, your mileage may vary...

I like that! I could work with that. Thanks ☺

 

[Zanshin]

I've started talking back to mine... :)

IC: You're awful. You're a total failure.
Me: I made one mistake.
IC: Total. Failure.
Me: Don't you think that's harsh? If I wouldn't talk to someone else that way, you're not talking to me that way. Go away.

It helps the voice face sometimes... And sometimes the critic's emotion outweighs my logic, but it's worth a try for the times it works.

Hope it helps you find your peace.

 

[Ronin]

I tend to soften affirmations and play with the phrasing of them a lot.
Restate it until it's both applicable to my situation, and speaking to me on some deeper level, even if I don't get why it does or what just changed at the time.

Plain 'positive thinking' tends to piss me off with how amateur & simplistic it is, though messages of hope contained in can have their use, when I feel open enough to them.

Which reminds me: Why does inner critic get a say, again? Unhelpful input, even where not baseless, has a wrong base, and you're free to ignore that kind of information and not work with it at all. Might be an interesting exercise where your thoughts & self concept move to if you disregard those critical voices, looking for something else. Some times not pushing against, is the hardest push, and brings a move in the desired direction.

 

[Friday]

Do they work? Yes.

1) <grin> Like @Zanshin & @Cashew I tend to play around a lot. It both personalizes the important shit and makes it stronger / more apt to stick and work faster, and takes the wind right out of the sails of the f*cked up bullshit. But I have to find the words that speak to me.

What that looks like?

Original Affirmation: I have value :wtf:
- Yeah right. As an organ donor, maybe. :rolleyes:
- Sweet! Just think of how much these puppies would be worth on the black market! That's like, a couple hundred K right there motherf*cker! :sneaky:
Personalized Affirmation : I am an organ donor. :D & My drivers license with the Organ Donor box ticked
Homework : Hit up both my snarky side, and whatever other brain cells I can co-opt for more ideas on how I have value. Ha. Wanna bitch at me, brain? I'll put you to work ;) Is being an organ donor what I probably meant when talking about value? Nope! And that's why I hit up my snarky side. "But that's not XYZ."...? Super useful for me in a different kind of way. It tells me I want XYZ. If it's something I want in my life? I can work towards it. ((That, by the way, is another highly personalized positive affirmation: If it's something I want? I can work towards it.))

2) Agree with @Cashew very much; who gets a say? I determine that. And if it ain't useful? They can STFU until they have something useful to say, instead of just bringing down morale. Whether I'm the one saying it, or anyone else in my life. In real time, or in my memories.

3) Make them things I actually want &/or things that are f*cking up my life. Doesn't do me any good to work on anyone else's issues.