Do I Go Back On Meds? Or Not?

[Blurred]

I'm considering going back on meds. I stopped lexapro about 12 months ago and was going so much better off it until about a month ago. Now I feel like I'm drowning again...nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, constantly down and overwhelmed by small things...all happening more often again and my long list of coping strategies aren't working so well atm. I didn't "hate" lexapro but I had lots of side effects even though I was only on 5mg.

I had really bad experiences about 12 years ago when doctors tried me on just about every type of antidepressant - sri's, snri's and tricyclics. I was more dissociative, more depressed and found I was less able to protect myself from DV that was happening at the time because I was so numb.

The awesome doctor I've been seeing for the last 8 years has just retired and I really don't like her replacement. I just want to be in a place where I can keep working on stuff but right now I'm struggling to keep my head above water :/

 

[Justmehere]

Meds might be an option that can help restablize your symptoms, but they do come with drawbacks. There are other options that can be explored as well. Are you working with a good trauma therapist? If so, have you considered adding group therapy or other supports?

How are your boundaries and trigger management plans? Skills to cope with symptoms are only part of the picture of managing PTSD. This explaination might help: The Ptsd Cup Explanation

Part of the solution might be looking at reducing non-PTSD stressors to reduce the PTSD symptoms. Setting and keeping good boundaries and pre-trigger planning can help.

 

[seedling]

It sounds like issues with your new therapist may be contributing to your relapse. And the lack of all that you were getting from your old therapist.

Here's some questions to consider in deciding whether to take meds again or not:

Was it hard for you to quit the Lexapro?
Is that something you would be willing to go through again once you are stable and in a better therapeutic space?
Would the Lexapro contribute to your functionality in looking for a different therapist, or can you get through that without it and be shortly back on track with the kind of support that you need?

If you "really don't like" the new therapist - is that related just to the new therapist?
What are your feelings about your previous therapist retiring? If she was awesome, seems like a big loss.

 

[Just_Dan]

I'm 100% med free I totally understand what you're feeling.
With reading the stories of the number of meds some of the members are taking scares me, I to have been dealing with the symptoms in my own way. And its a lot of hit and miss and very difficult days for me. I wish you best of luck in your choice meds or not. :)

 

[Blurred]

Thanks so much for your reply. The ptsd cup post shows exactly where I'm at right now! I do have an amazing therapist who specialises in complex trauma. I've been seeing her for about 3 years although we didn't really do much work for the first 1-2 years because I was almost constantly dissociative. I plan on talking to her about the meds when I see her next but unfortunately that won't be for 2 weeks because I have kids at home on school holidays and no sitter. I did group therapy about a year ago which was difficult but helped so much. It ran for 16 weeks and I haven't been able to find any other group therapy options in my area :/

I left a long term DV situation and now don't have any supports except my therapist. I was going so well before this last month - interacting more with people and working on my boundary issues through that, but I definitely still have pretty big issues with boundaries. Right now I'm back to avoiding situations where my boundaries might be tested because I don't think I could deal with it.

I think I've reduced my non-ptsd stressors to just the basics atm. I don't know. I just want to do something to get myself out of this space

 

[Blurred]

Thanks everyone. I had a separate doctor and therapist and we all communicated together. I have found it difficult since my doctor retired. She was a big support for me and made me feel more like a person than a patient. Still haven't found another doctor that I'm comfortable with. My therapist is awesome but I won't be seeing her for a couple of weeks. Bad timing for me :/

I didn't find it too hard to get off lexapro and didn't have the issues that a lot of other people have. Maybe coz I was on such a low dose. Having said that, the side effects I get from taking it aren't very nice. When I started lexapro I was in a pretty bad way with all the ptsd stuff and depression, dissociation etc and I think it helped along with therapy but it was good to get off it. Arrggg I feel like I need to do something coz I feel myself sliding into a bad place.

 

[Blurred]

Hmmm do I need to do something or is that just the ptsd talking? Being in the moment and sitting with the feelings is just too hard sometimes

 

[Blurred]

Temporary decision made - no meds. Going to try to work through stuff without them

 

[Blurred]

Feel like having a drink after making that decision lol

 

[Just_Dan]

Temporary decision made - no meds. Going to try to work through stuff without them

I wish you all the best in going at this med free. I tip my hat to you.

 

[Blurred]

Thanks! I have to say that you helped inspire me. Your message...

I'm 100% med free I totally understand what you're feeling.
With reading the stories of the number of meds some of the members are taking scares me, I to have been dealing with the symptoms in my own way. And its a lot of hit and miss and very difficult days for me. I wish you best of luck in your choice meds or not. :)

Helped give me the courage to at least give it a go! :)