Do You Analyse Your Whole Life In Trauma Therapy?

[Abby]

I´m momentarily with an analytical therapist that is not exactly specialised on trauma.
The problem I have to face is that, unlike the trauma specialist I´ve seen ( just 2 hours),
she wants to talk about all of my life´s problems I have had before my father died and is more into a complete analysis of my relationships, bringing up... everything.

The thing is, before my "traumatic event" I did not have that much trouble with these issues, at least not in a way that they prevented me from pursueing my life and living happily.

I really feel that addressing the most important thing (trauma) first is the best thing, because I do not feel as if I can be woken from depersonalisation and derealisation anyway, no matter what we find out about my early childhood and so on, before I come to adress the facts and integrate them into my life. Though, of course I think it is very interesting and probably helpfull to know about yourself and your personality.

I´d like more to address the most bothering event first and THEN come to other issues. I do believe that after I have done this, all the other smaller issues won´t seem so bad anymore anyway.

I feel like all of that rumaging in the past is clouding my head even MORE making me even MORE confused and unable to see what is important.

How does "real" trauma therapy work? Is your whole life an issue or does it revolve around the traumatic event (I realize of course this question only makes sense if you have suffered one traumatic event, not several over the course of your life and not a long-term traumatisation like abandonment in childhood, in which case I think, analysing the whole life is necessary)


Note: I´m sorry for any grammar mistakes I may have done. English is not my first language.

 

[piratelady]

I think trauma therapy is different for each person. I have seen two therapists who each took vastly different approaches. My theory: We are all different and what works for one person may not work well for another.

I think there is merit to starting with the worst trauma, processing it and moving along. There is a post in the trauma diary section by Anthony. It is called "Getting Started with Exposure Therapy" and that is the method he suggests. [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/getting-started-with-exposure-therapy.407/[/DLMURL]

The first trauma I worked on in therapy was relatively mild compared to some of the other things I've experienced. Working on the easier trauma was hard and now I am so scared to work on the more traumatizing event that I am currently struggling with. I think if I had started with the worst and worked my way down I would be progressing now rather than feeling stuck.

I think asking for what you want in therapy would be a good idea. As others have said on this site - you are an expert on you. There is nothing wrong with telling your therapist what you need.

 

[Bluemax111f]

My therapist and I talk about alot of different things. I've found that examining some of the minor events especially childhood ones, can affect the way we react to major stress later in life. I was an anxious nervous lonely kid and it made a big impact when I grew up and got traumatized.

 

[Hashi]

I'm not sure that the issue you describe is about the balance between looking at childhood history/life generally and focussing on trauma. I agree with Bluemax that earlier life and other experiences can be very relevant to trauma work.

What I'd wonder about is the analytical approach. I talked about this with my past T (a trauma specialist, who I could only see for a limited time so then I had to find someone else). I was interested in finding a Jungian therapist, and she suggested I be careful because most Jungians are analysts and she felt that any analytical approach (not just a Jungian one) wasn't appropriate for most people having therapy for trauma.

Analytical therapy has different aims. It's about investing time to uncover unconscious processes that are affecting your thinking, feeling and behaviour. Every person has things they're not aware of, and some people might be greatly helped by psychoanalysis, but survivors of trauma have more obvious and more immediate issues we need practical help with straight away. I think it's exactly as you say:

I really feel that addressing the most important thing (trauma) first is the best thing, because I do not feel as if I can be woken from depersonalisation and derealisation anyway, no matter what we find out about my early childhood and so on, before I come to adress the facts and integrate them into my life. Though, of course I think it is very interesting and probably helpfull to know about yourself and your personality.

I understand why you say your question doesn't apply to people who have experienced childhood trauma. In my opinion, and in my own experience, it still does apply. I've experienced multiple trauma since birth, and it's still not best for me to analyse my whole life. I need to look at and discuss my childhood, but I don't need analysis for it, just psychotherapy/counselling. I'm glad that I managed to find a T who uses Jungian concepts but not analysis. I just can't afford two or more years of detailed analysis - financially, mentally or emotionally. I need to get right to the point. We talk about childhood and life issues, but only in a way that's directly relevant to the trauma work or to coping. It does involve looking back, but looking back only in a very practical way so I can move forward.

I'm curious about your therapist's view. Does she know anything about the trauma you've experienced? Have you discussed what you want from therapy? I wonder how she sees this approach working for you in your particular situation?

 

[Abby]

Hashi,

Every person has things they're not aware of, and some people might be greatly helped by psychoanalysis, but survivors of trauma have more obvious and more immediate issues we need practical help with straight away.

You speak directly from my mind here. I feel that it´s very different for each person. I know a lot of people that take on analytical therapy to change or help them with something in their life, more or less, on the side, while simultanuesly living their lifes. For me, it´s different, I really need therapy in order to get back INTO life.

I too feel that I cannot afford too much time emotionally. I want to get to the point. I understand in what all people have said, on how childhood issues play a part in how we react to traumatic events. But you do not need to vade around in them.

It does involve looking back, but looking back only in a very practical way so I can move forward.

Well, thank you for asking Hashi. Yes, she does know. And here is where I'm getting also a little unsure.

In that is, I'm not exactly sure people, her including, see my event as enough to be traumatic. You see, my father died of cancer. He got sick and about a year later he died. I was 20 when he got sick. He was, more than other people, always concerned about illness and death. And so was I, even as a child.

Luckily, or not, it was the first death of a person I really knew I ever experienced.
I know it may look like, or really is, small compared to what other people on this forum experienced. And it may look like grief. But after he died, I completely forgot about his suffering and him dieing and even that he REALLY ever existed and tried changing my life and my self in several ways. Not only did I forget about him but my life and myself before it happened. And I became to be a complete different person.

It's been more than 2 years before I actually remembered what happened there, partly, and came to believe that it really is the source for all the troubles I had, since he died, which I thought at that point, came out of nowhere (derealisation and depersonalisation, somatic symptoms similar to the ones my father had when he was sick, thinking I was going to die myself, obsession, anorexia, numbness, and constant anxiety).

Yes, I have told her that every time I come to talk or really truly remember what happened there, I notice how this is exactly the point I need to work on and just something clicking inside of me, making me feel more real and more me. She said it´s good to know.

I did not ask her how she thought the approach was working for my situation. But since she didn't say otherwise, I'm thinking she thinks it's right...?

 

[Hashi]

I have told her that every time I come to talk or really truely remember what happened there, I notice how this is exactly the point I need to work on and just something clicking inside of me, making me feel more real and more me. She said it´s good to know.

I did not ask her how she thought the approuch was working for my situation. But since she didn´t say otherwise, I´m thinking she thinks it´s right...?

It sounds from what you say that you need a much more direct and clear conversation with her about what you want from therapy, how she thinks the two of you can work towards that, what the challenges might be, how you'll both approach them and whether that feels right for you.

I'm sorry you've had such a difficult experience. You've obviously gone through extreme distress and been greatly affected by it. You don't need to compare it to other people's experiences. Comparisons are meaningless because what's important is the effect on us as individuals, with our own reactions, history and resources, and in the context of our particular life situation.

What I would ask is whether you're certain you have PTSD. Have you been diagnosed with this? There are also other very difficult psychological conditions that need therapy. Grief can be devastating and can have all sorts of effects including amnesia and denial, so I wouldn't rule that out. I'm not saying you do or don't have PTSD, I couldn't know. I just think it would be helpful to be clear about your diagnosis, so you can identify what you need from therapy. If your diagnosis is something other than trauma/PTSD then that's no less valid. If you have a PTSD diagnosis I'd look into seeing a trauma specialist or talking to your current T about a trauma-focussed approach. Otherwise, you might want to consider seeing an experienced bereavement therapist or following some other approach that could help you best.