Do You "Check Out" When You Are Overwhelmed Emotionally

[externalsmile]

I check out on a daily basis! Today I was with my friend and driving in the car and talking about my work situation and I totally went off into my own little world. It took alot to reel myself back in.

Usually it happens after talking or thinking about something that would be a major stressor like the child abuse or the harrassment at work. I had an emotionally tough session yesterday with my counsellor and near the end of the session I was totally checking out and not hearing her at all. She was asking me a question but I couldn't zone in enough to understand. All I could hear was words. In the end she said "you seem to have enough for today, would you like to finish up or continue" so I said my goodbyes for the day and managed to get back into the here and now after a walk around to clear my head.

 

[dhawkins78412]

I read somewhere you should try to relax/rest after a therapy session. Like that's possible when you see the therapist during your work day. I have to answer phones at times at my job. Imagine someone is talking to me and I totally don't remember what they said. Kind of awkward when I have to ask them to repeat what they said. I think some of it is my meds. Short term memory isn't very good.

I've been to some active listening classes. They recommend try to concentrate on what is said for 4 min. How about 2 min and I'm checked out. I don't think they apply to people with PTSD. It doesn't take very long before I check out.

I think some of it is a reaction to the trauma. I also think some is boredom. Say I"m in a meeting, it doesn't take long before I'm in my own little world and am looking for something to keep me occupied; doodling, used to take vivarin tabs, whatever keeps me busy while listening to boring meetings.

I especially check out when people try to be friendly and want to get to know me better. I prefer staying at the superficial level, which I feel comfortable with. I feel very uncomfortable when people are trying to be friendly.

I dont' know how to cope with this or have advice to deal with this.

 

[PainX2]

I've done this for years. I didn't know that it was a coping mechanism. My husband frequently tells me that he can see when I "glaze over" and have stopped actively listening to him. I just feel like another person said.. in a tunnel. Like everything is being said in a bucket and doesn't have any power to hurt me. When I actively listen (especially if its an emotional conversation or a triggering convo), I just FEEL too much and will start to cry. I don't have any other control over it except to "check out"... I often miss important pieces of conversation because I haven't pulled myself out of it soon enough. Or, I offend the person that's talking to me because they think I'm choosing to not listen to them. :(

 

[pandora]

I definately do this..dissasociate. I find thay when someone starts yelling I feel myself go. It is like being in a tunnel..I just shut right off.It is hard to control and does not help to "stick up for yourself" in a situation where someone ie yelling at you but I just cannot control it. it does not last long and usuaally after it is followed by intense feeling of sadness and despair.

Sometimes my son will be saying..Mommy, mommy..over and over and then I start to talk. He tells me I have poor listening skills and a bad memory because of all the times I have dissasociated. It does explain how and why I find it so hard to remember a lot of things in my past or actually remember chunks of things and not the whole memory.

 

[Marley]

There are some people that actually have mini seizures where they disassociate and say strange things outside of their nature. When they come to, they do not recall any of it.

 

[samyglo]

This is exactly how I fell a lot of the time! I like the way you put it...'out of order' sign. That totally makes sense and is accurate.

 

[promising0]

Hi everyone I'm new here can someone please explain to me how "checking out" isn't considered a pstd mechanism? Because I do it all the time and hate that about myself

 

[Abstract]

how "checking out" isn't considered a pstd

Hi! I am not sure if I understand but yes it is a PTSD symptom. People without PTSD and without a trauma history can also have this. Look up depersonalisation if you want to know more.

 

[Misul]

It happens to me very often. It's like an extreme version of "zoning out". My eyes glaze over and my gaze is very spacey and fixed, I go off to la-la land. A large portion of my life has been lived in a dissociative state.

 

[shoulderblades]

When I think of those terrible things I start to feel anxious, but then it's like I become drugged and I feel emotionally and physically numb. I seem to get kind of spacey and I lose my concentration. My mind starts to go blank, and I feel like I could stare off into space forever. I can hear what's going on around me, but I don't respond to it. I just sit there and not move, and stare off into space, not thinking of anything. I don't feel distressed or anything during this time, I just feel like I've sort of "checked out" mentally for a bit. Then afterwards I sometimes feel really tired and I want to go to sleep.

You've described exactly what I go through better than I could explain it myself. I also experience dizziness, lightheadedness and a sense of depersonalisation where I don't quite feel human or don't quite feel like I'm actually in my body. Feels like I've stepped just outside of myself. Also experience a kind of muteness or inability to focus on what I'm saying; everything that comes out of my mouth sounds like gibberish to me (but apparently, I'm always making sense, according to my therapists - sure doesn't sound that way to my own ears). This always happens when talking in detail about my traumas and my past. Also happens when I'm feeling emotionally overwhelmed or anxious.

 

[shoulderblades]

I don't have strong emotions related to my trauma - in fact my T will sometimes not be able to hide her feelings about what I'm discussing - but for me I don't feel any emotion at all related to it. I'm always extremely tired after one of these "episodes" and I almost feel sick - like I'm coming down with a cold or something. It normally takes me at least 24 hours to come back around - sometimes more.

I often don't have emotions related to my trauma, either. It's mostly just numbness that I feel. Numbness and a sense of detachment from everything. Once in a while it will hit me and I will find myself in tears - but even those tears don't feel like they're connected to me. But yes, what I DO experience is immense tiredness in relation to my trauma - I feel like my mind is caught in a thick fog and all I want to do is lie down right then and there on the floor and go to sleep.

I'm also just aware of things around me (one at a time) and the person speaking, but Its like I almost feel deaf. Then I hear myself responding to what was asked to me, and I feel like I'm not doing the talking. Yet I continue talking from memory like a script, and answer questions, but forget what I said right after or in the middle of the sentence.

This is EXACTLY how it feels for me. Like I'm deaf and things around me sound like they're distorted or under water or being filtered through some kind of tunnel that makes sounds around me seem like they're hollow or distant or muffled. But my mouth will be on autopilot and I will continue talking - but I'm not present. I sound a million miles away to my own ears, as though my voice is disembodied. And yes, I forget what I'm saying midway through the sentence or will forget what I'm talking about altogether and become confused or disoriented. And I feel so tired. I feel wretchedly tired, to the point where I feel sick, like I've come down with a case of the 'flu - aching and cramping in my muscles and in my bones, headache, a sense of heaviness in my head that feels hot and fuzzy like I've got a fever. My eyesight goes blurry and unfocused. My head often pounds and throbs and my eyes hurt. It's terribly draining and takes me a day or two to recover.

It's not good that everyone here goes through similar things but it's good and reassuring to know that I'm not alone. I love this site for that reason. Before I found this site, I thought I was going mad, that I was lazy, stupid, dumb, just a horrible, careless person who had no self-discipline. I thought my inability to function was completely my fault and I thought the ways I disconnected from everybody and floated off into my own world was just me being a flakey, useless person. But since finding this site and reading through people's experiences and how people struggle with things in the same way that I do, I finally realised and feel like I'm not crazy or insane or just a lazy person - I've finally been able to recognise that I'm unwell and that my reactions to things are 'normal' symptoms of C-PTSD. It sure makes me feel a lot less alone and a lot more understanding of my own condition.

 

[Becca2904]

I started checking out during my EMDR sessions. When I was forced to think of my trauma and couldn't deal with it I would see it from a birds eye view. Then the more stressed I got the further and further away I got untill everything was just little pinpricks on a big map. The thing is it made me so much happier.

I didn't realise my "forgetfulness" and general flakiness were part of it too.