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Do You "Check Out" When You Are Overwhelmed Emotionally

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Hmmm... This checking out seems to be kinda what I feel like after a seizure. People talk to me and I am like in a fog, but yet I am aware. The EMT told me that we were going so I went to my locker, got my coats and boots on left the building out the front door (almost as if passive or compliance or in submission) and into the ambulance. Does that sound like someone checking out?
 
My elementary teachers commented that I day dreamed too much in first and second grade. I recall feeling so angry and insulted by that. I remember thinking if they didn't make us read stupid books like the Dick and Jane series, I wouldn't have to daydream so much. It was one of those useless observations. I could no more stop daydreaming that I could fly.

I have always done this. I do it when I am happy . I do it when I am overwhelmed and whelmed. I lose time and feel like I exist outside of it. I know I do this too much but I can't imagine giving it up entirely.

My husband finally explained that is what is terrifying about my driving. I never have accidents and drive a great deal but I do check out.
 
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Indeed. There are times when I try to think on things and will feel that initial squeeze of anguish, and then all of sudden, I feel nothing. Checking out is also something I do when I'm bored.
 
I find that I dissociate alot as well, some days are worse than others, this summer I collapsed on the sidewalk and had something of a minor seizure / narcoleptic / dissociative episode unable to stand. When things like this happen its so humiliating, torture changes human beings, permanently....... I miss my old self and the inner freedom, trust and openness i once had.
 
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