D
Deleted member 1860
Yes, we all have PTSD (or care for someone who has PTSD). It affects almost every aspect of our lives. But does that mean we make it our whole life?
A few months ago I was approved for disability. I know I am one of the lucky ones who didn't have to fight for years on end, hire a lawyer, etc. Since being approved, I feel that all I am is a disabled person. My last therapist told me that for the last six months I have been in a state of crisis. Yes, the last six months were some of the hardest times of my life, but I am much better now. It just feels incredibly invalidating for someone to pretty much tell you that you are one big walking crisis because it ignores all of the hard work you have done and how far you have come. I am not going to lie. I still have my bad days...really bad days. But gone are the times where I want to kill myself every single day. Gone are the days of constant suicidal ideation.
And to be honest with you, I am tired of constantly going to therapy. Lately, it has been twice a week. And my life is usually rocky for the few days following therapy, so by the time I have returned to a "normal" state, its time for another therapy session which just puts me into yet another state of turmoil.
I know that therapists tell us that therapy is the end all and be all of our healing, but I am at a point where I want to disagree. I need to focus on healing myself as a whole person, and therapy just can't do that. I need to go out and start living again, and stop isolating so much. I feel that I am in a therapy rut!
But to be honest with you, I am searching for a new therapist. My last therapist (in her parting letter) recommended that I be in regular therapy twice a week plus DBT therapy twice a week. Now c'mon, who has the time (or the MONEY) to do that? I am NOT a danger to myself and don't need to be hospitalized. I think what my last therapist failed to realized was that so much therapy was in fact making me WORSE because I couldn't deal with such turmoil, so OFTEN. Even my family recognized that my worst days were therapy days, and agreed that perhaps, for now, I don't need so much therapy.
So anyway, I know I have PTSD, but I am tired of it running my whole life. Does anybody else feel the same way? Any comments are welcome!
Thanks!
A few months ago I was approved for disability. I know I am one of the lucky ones who didn't have to fight for years on end, hire a lawyer, etc. Since being approved, I feel that all I am is a disabled person. My last therapist told me that for the last six months I have been in a state of crisis. Yes, the last six months were some of the hardest times of my life, but I am much better now. It just feels incredibly invalidating for someone to pretty much tell you that you are one big walking crisis because it ignores all of the hard work you have done and how far you have come. I am not going to lie. I still have my bad days...really bad days. But gone are the times where I want to kill myself every single day. Gone are the days of constant suicidal ideation.
And to be honest with you, I am tired of constantly going to therapy. Lately, it has been twice a week. And my life is usually rocky for the few days following therapy, so by the time I have returned to a "normal" state, its time for another therapy session which just puts me into yet another state of turmoil.
I know that therapists tell us that therapy is the end all and be all of our healing, but I am at a point where I want to disagree. I need to focus on healing myself as a whole person, and therapy just can't do that. I need to go out and start living again, and stop isolating so much. I feel that I am in a therapy rut!
But to be honest with you, I am searching for a new therapist. My last therapist (in her parting letter) recommended that I be in regular therapy twice a week plus DBT therapy twice a week. Now c'mon, who has the time (or the MONEY) to do that? I am NOT a danger to myself and don't need to be hospitalized. I think what my last therapist failed to realized was that so much therapy was in fact making me WORSE because I couldn't deal with such turmoil, so OFTEN. Even my family recognized that my worst days were therapy days, and agreed that perhaps, for now, I don't need so much therapy.
So anyway, I know I have PTSD, but I am tired of it running my whole life. Does anybody else feel the same way? Any comments are welcome!
Thanks!
